50 I-Want-To-Die Moments Only Socially Awkward Humans Will Understand 

1. When you’re having a conversation with someone and you don’t hear what they say so you ask them to repeat and they do. But you still don’t hear it and ask them to repeat again and they do. And you still don’t know what they said. Do you ask them to repeat again (and maybe still not hear it)? Pretend you heard it and nod your head and hope it’s an appropriate response? Stab yourself in the eye with a pen to create a diversion and change the subject?

2. When you’ve had multiple interactions with someone but you can’t remember their name but it’s gone too far to admit you’ve forgotten it so you just have to call them love or mate forever.

3. Ordering a food delivery and getting the same delivery person as you did last time. Bonus points if it’s been a week or less since your last delivery.

4. Someone showing everyone in the group something on their phone and waiting until it is your turn.

5. Ever drag your shoe across a tile floor and have it make a loud, wet, fart sound, so everyone in the room looks at you? Then you insist it was your shoe and try to make the sound again, but nothing happens?

6. Being called on to answer a question you really have no idea how to answer.

7. Having your stomach rumble in the middle of a quiet class / meeting.

8. When you think someone waves at you so you wave back, but they were waving at someone behind you.

9. When someone asks, “What’s going on?” And you respond, “Good, you?”

10. When you’re walking and almost trip for no reason and look back at the invisible stick that you tripped on.

11. The fake smile on your face when you receive a terrible gift.

12. When you run out of things to say during a conversation and you’re not quite sure how to end it.

13. When you are video chatting, start talking, and because of the delay you interrupt each other all the time. Stop talking, start again, interrupt the other one, stop talking. Never ending story.

14. When you say a funny joke but all you get is silence…

15. When you’re saying goodbye to someone, and then you both end up walking in the same direction.

16. When you’re finishing up at the checkout and the cashier puts the notes on top of the receipt and then coins on top of that. Then the next person steps up and you’re fumbling, trying to disassemble the stack in your hand, gather your shopping, say thanks and move away at the same time.

17. Watching a sex scene with your parents.

18. Being at a friend’s house as a kid and the friend’s mother starts yelling at your friend.

19. When you walk out of the store empty-handed, feeling like you’ve just stolen something.

20. Standing there while two people talk about something you don’t know about.

21. When you go for a hug but the other person goes for a handshake, so you start with a handshake but do a weird hug at the same time with your hands in each other’s crotches.

22. When you try to contribute to a conversation and someone cuts you off multiple times.

23. Stalking someone on social media and accidentally liking a comment from months/years ago.

24. When you’re walking on a sidewalk with two other friends and you’re the person that does not fit so you have to stay behind them.

25. When you start to tell a story in a group but in the middle of a sentence realize that no one is actually listening and ever so slowly you get quiet and hope no one took notice.

26. When you say something funny and no one reacts so you say it again and they are like: why did you just repeat that stupid joke?

27. Being expected to make polite conversation while having a gynecological exam. There you are, pussy exposed, legs spread wide, someone is stuffing something up your vagina, and you are expected to be able to talk about the weather.

28. Also, when your dental assistant wants to chat, but her hands are in your mouth, so…

29. When you’re walking behind someone that has a slightly slower pace than you, so you start to pass them, but then have that awkward moment when you’re walking next to them before you cut in front of them.

30. Saying “hello” or “how are you” to somebody and getting 100% ignored.

31. Someone trying to initiate a handshake after you’ve just washed your hands. It’s either a few awkward seconds of quickly drying your hands on your jeans, or shaking their hand anyway and seeing the discomfort in their eyes.

32. When you’re walking past a coworker and you’ve already said hello earlier. Everyone’s making that weird flat smile.

33. “Would you like to round up your bill for charity?” I always feel like a dick when I say no.

34. When you get a haircut and it looks like shit but you don’t want to be rude so you say it’s good when they ask.

35. When your friend sees a friend and starts talking and you just stand there because you’re conditioned to keep your mouth shut, but in reality I think I’m supposed to introduce myself?

36. When someone sits beside you in metro or bus when there are hundreds of seats available.

37. Your card declining.

38. When you accidentally kiss the lips instead of cheeks while greeting.

39. When you hold the door for someone but realize that they’re actually kinda far away so they have to do the awkward skipping thing and you feel awful.

40. When both drivers are passive and keep waving each other to go first.

41. When you’re at a bar and your drink-ordering and/or piss-taking schedule syncs up with someone else’s.

42. When you’re in a group of people and you slowly get pushed out.

43. The first time a girl has to buy pads/tampons. It’s really awkward like you’re letting the whole world know your baby maker is working.

44. When you go to someone’s house and their big ass dog won’t stop jumping on you or licking you.

45. When you’re next in line at the grocery store with your mom and she leaves you to “just get one more thing” and the anxiety and awkwardness builds because you’re up and she’s nowhere to be found.

46. When you accidentally say, “You too!” after someone says something that isn’t compatible with that statement and you just stare awkwardly at each other.

47. Bumping into an inanimate object and apologizing to it.

48. When you’re in a public bathroom and someone tries to open the door even though it’s locked.

49. When someone keeps calling you by a wrong name. You let it slide to begin with thinking they have just made a mistake, but then it carries on for such a long time that you can never correct them.

50. When everybody’s singing you happy birthday and you have no idea how to react.