1. Well shit, I had no idea I had so much in common with everyone else.

2. I’m not responsible for their bad taste.

3. Do I get bonus points if I care?

4. You’re allowed to have a wrong opinion, no one has stopped you before.

5. You right. Everybody fucking loves me.

6. My dog does, that means more to me.

7. Perfect, I’m an introvert.

8. Join the club. No one likes you either.

9. But my mom says I’m cool.

10. Well I like me, I like me so hard.

11. Aww! You care so much about how many people like me! That’s really sweet of you!!

12. You act like I actually value what you have to say.

13. I don’t really like myself either.

14. How can you speak for everyone when you’re nobody?

15. Didn’t know your mom is called ‘No one.’

16. You’re talking a lot of shit for someone in cumshot distance.

17. On a good day my wife likes me, so let’s clear the air on that one.

18. I don’t wake up in the morning for others, I do it for my dogs.

19. The feeling is mutual.

20. Eh, fair enough. But at least they don’t pretend they like me, uh-oh did I say too much?

21. I’m hurt that you thought I didn’t know that already.

22. I think you’re projecting.

23. I didn’t get hired to be your friend.

24. Stop talking to yourself.

25. Oh, good; glad to know it’s working.

26. 7 billion people don’t like me? Prove it.

27. I’ve heard worst things about me by better people than you.

28. I’ve never been a fan myself…

29. Mission accomplished.

30. So? I like me and thats more than enough.