1. Your optimism could hurt you. I know you have a forgiving nature. I know you see the best in everyone else. And I know you have your heart set on ending up with him. But if he’s treated you poorly once, then he’s capable of doing it again. You don’t want to give him a million chances to shatter your heart. You don’t want to continue putting yourself back in the same situation, hoping things might change. Sometimes, it’s better to be a little bit cynical. It’s better to protect yourself from the heartache he’s already given you before.
2. Fighting for the relationship isn’t always the right move. Serious relationships require hard work and sacrifice. But if you’re the only one putting in that hard work, if you’re the only one making those sacrifices, something is wrong. Love is supposed to be a two-way street. You’re not supposed to be doing the bulk of the work. You’re supposed to be acting as a team. If that isn’t happening, if your relationship feels tipped to one side, then you might want to stop fighting. It’s important to know when enough is enough. When it’s time to walk away. When you’ve done all you can do.
3. The sweet guy you first met has layers to his personality. When you see the worst side of someone you thought you knew, it can be confusing. It’s common to convince yourself that the real him would never hurt you. It’s common to think he’s either a good guy or a bad guy. But there is an in-between. There is grey area. The sweet things he said were real. But so were the mean things. You have to accept both sides of him and ask yourself whether you’re able to handle it all (Hint: You should never settle for someone who treats you unkindly, even if it’s not an everyday thing.)
4. People can grow and change, but sometimes old situations bring back your old selves. It might seem like he’s changed from afar. You might think he deserves another chance because he’s doing so well since you’ve separated. But sometimes, patterns repeat themselves. Sometimes, certain pairs are toxic together. It doesn’t make either of you a bad person. It just makes you a bad fit. Even though it hurts to admit, you might be better off apart than you are together.
5. There are other people out there to love and kiss and date. It’s tempting to keep returning to someone you have history with because you already have feelings for them. You’re comfortable with them. You know them. Plus, as you get older, the pressure to settle down deepens. It feels easier to pick off where you left off with someone than it does to search for someone new. But running back to the past isn’t always a good idea. You stopped seeing each other for a reason. You were apart for a reason.
6. You deserve someone who doesn’t screw things up. This guy hurt you. He did you wrong. He made you cry your eyes out. He made you question your worth. You didn’t deserve any of that — and you deserve someone who would never put you through that.