1. You never make the first move. You make eye contact from across the room. You smile at them. You watch their stories on Instagram. And that’s about it. That’s your version of flirting. I hate to break it to you, but it’s not good enough. It’s not obvious enough. If you want to date someone, you actually have to let them know you’re interested.

2. You hide how you feel — on purpose. You never send the first text or comment on their selfies or ask them to hang out because you’re worried they’ll find out that you like them. Well, you’ve gotten your wish because they probably think you hate them now. They probably don’t think they stand a chance with you, which is why you haven’t been asked out yet.

3. You move on too quickly. When your crush looks at another girl, you assume it’s over. You assume you don’t have a chance. You assume you’re wasting your time. You play the compare-and-contrast game and assume you’re coming out at the bottom. You don’t even give your relationship a chance.

4. You cling on for too long. You fall for assholes. You realize they’re assholes. And you continue chasing after those assholes. You waste way too much of your time on the wrong people, even after you see the red flags. You miss out on the chance to get to know guys who would actually make good boyfriends because you’re still obsessing over some old crush.

5. You’re afraid of sucky first dates. You know that saying: you’re going to have to kiss some frogs before you can find your prince? It sounds stupid but it’s the truth. You’re probably not going to live happily ever after with the first guy you see naked. There are going to be some bumps along the road and that’s a good thing. You should be going on bad first dates because then it’s easier to recognize what a good first date looks like.

6. You never leave the house. You aren’t going to fall in love while sitting home alone on your couch. You might find someone to swipe right on — but you’re eventually going to have to see them in person. A relationship entirely through text is going to fizzle fast. If you want to find love, you actually need to get up and get out.

7. You care too much about your relationship status. Yes, it would be nice to enter a strong, committed relationship — but who really gives a shit that you’re single except for you? No one. Maybe some friends and relatives have been pushing you to settle down, but that’s only because they want to see you happy and they think a relationship will make you happy. But if you learn how to be happy without one, then they’re not going to care whether you’re in a relationship or not. Trust me, the less you care about whether or not you have a boyfriend, the easier it will be to find a worthwhile one.