50 Hilarious Responses When Someone Knocks On Your Bathroom Stall

50 Hilarious Responses When Someone Knocks On Your Bathroom Stall

The next time someone knocks when you’re in a public bathroom, use one of these lines from Ask Reddit.

1. Ah yes, I’ve been waiting for you.

2. You got the wrong password, try again.

3. I’m an atheist, go away!

4. It’s already a bit crowded in here but you’re welcome to join.

5. Hold on, I just need to put my clothes back on.

6. Come back with a warrant.

7. Please, keep knocking. It helps me with my poop rhythm.

8. Seat’s taken.

9. Don’t come in! He will get you.

10. I’m with a client!

11. I said to meet here at 5:45 P.M., it’s 5:15 PM right now. I’m still getting ready.

12. I am the one who knocks.

13. What are you doing in my swamp?

14. Come in.

15. Would you like to join the orgy?

16. I left something in here for you.

17. Hey! I’m poopin’ here! *in a New York accent*

18. You’re in cumshot distance.

19. This is a one seater, find another!

20. Mother you don’t need to wipe my arse, I’m already a big boy.

21. Knock again and I will piss all over the seat!

22. The glory hole is in the side, not the front.

23. You the plumber? Thank god. It’s a mess in here

24. My toilet! I peed on it, that means it’s mine!

25. Take a number. We are now serving Number 2.

26. Who’s there?

27. Oh, you’re knocking on me? Instead of checking the other stalls you’re knocking on me?

28. Stop interrupting my show.

29. Do you mind helping me wipe? I’ve got a sore back.

30. Come sit on my lap and tell Santa what you want for Christmas little one.

31. Sorry lad, I’ve got important things to do. We’ll speak another time.

32. Hey man, at least take me out to dinner first.

33. Sorry, room service is unwanted at present.

34. Ah fuck I was almost done now I have to start again.

35. Do you have the diapers and the squeegee?

36. Joe’s Bar & Grill, can I take your order?

37. $20 to watch, $50 to catch.

38. Finally, the pizza’s here.

39. Stay a while and listen!

40. What the fuck do you want now?

41. The peep show hasn’t started yet.

42. No one’s home!

43. You never should’ve come here!

44. Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?

45. Actually, yes, I do have some time to talk about our lord and savior, Christ.

46. Oi mate can you slip me some ass napkins?

47. These are not the droids you’re looking for.

48. I’ll get to everyone, just wait your turn!

49. Wanna have a sword fight?

50. Shitter’s full. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.