1. Sharing EVERY memory from Facebook talking about the “good ol days” and “wish we could go back” when it’s only been a few years since graduation.
2. Making any mention of SAT or ACT scores. Bonus points for that IQ test you took when you were a kid online.
3. Still wearing your letterman jacket in your 30’s.
4. Huge social media presence, full of interactions with people from high school that you are ‘friends’ with (but never spend any time with in person).
5. Still bragging about high school basketball games from 10 years ago.
6. Selling pot to teenagers and then trying to get them to stay and smoke with you.
7. Still living in your hometown and looking forward to that night at the bar just before Thanksgiving when everyone who left comes home… so you can talk about high school stuff to people who have grown up and have real lives now.
8. Disliking the same people you disliked in high school for no reason.
9. Wearing your class ring. Like, why were they a thing at all? They were so chunky and ugly and cost like $70 on the low end.
10. “Wanna see my prom pictures?”
“I use to be so fit back in HS.”
“You should’ve seen me play ball back in the day. I probably could’ve gone to play college.”
“Wanna see my highlight reel?”
“I had a guy every other week when I was a teenager.”
“Look how skinny I was back then!”
“I was cheer captain at my HS.”
“I made sure bitches feared me when I walked the halls.”
It’s like, ok we get it. You were popular and feared. We’re nearly 30 now. Get over yourself.
11. Talking and gossiping about people’s relationships and dating in that very specific middle school/high school manner.
12. Not developing or growing as a person and everyone can tell.
13. People who say, “High school is the best time of your life.”
14. Partying with high schoolers when you’re 30.
15. I dated a guy with his high school mascot tattooed on his arm. It was such a turnoff.
16. Teachers who suck up to the athletes and other popular kids and ignore the less popular kids. My freshman year Spanish teacher was like that.
17. You still wear clothes from your high school days.
18. Attend every high school sporting event and talk to nobody about how they almost made it to regionals or some shit.
19. Monster energy drink sticker on your car. You must have peaked in High School, because you sure as fuck didn’t go to college.
20. Dating seniors in high school when you are 25.
21. Constantly correcting everyone who’s wrong on minor details, in a smartass tone.
22. Loud mufflers and revving your engines on residential streets.
23. When the “cool kids,” from high school keep trying to organize reunions and don’t understand why everyone doesn’t give a shit.
24. Constantly posting about whatever activities they did in high school decades after it ended.
25. Forcing your kids to be good at sports.
26. When at an interview and asked what your biggest achievement was and responding with: well when I was high school…
27. Constantly going back and visiting your high school.
28. Never advancing your life past the moment when you graduate. I have a cousin who still lives with his parents, has had the same job he had since junior year, and has done fuck-all with his life.
29. Not letting go of old memories where you were QB on the football team, doing senior pranks, shitting on the freshmen, on and on and on and just never shutting up about it.
30. Still drinking in the same pub you drank in as a student. Because that’s now full of students. So you’re that guy or girl who never left home and drinks with school kids much younger than you.
31. Being a high school asshole then trying to reconnect with the people you looked down on because daddy’s money can’t buy you friends.
32. Still bullying the “nerds” at your 10 year reunion.
33. As someone who recently graduated, the students who returned to the school every time they came home from school just so people would pay attention to them. Also not sure how to explain it but the people who now posts blank screens and just text on their snapchat stories that just say things like “always crazy to see who you can really trust when xyz happens” or “surprising to see who really cares about you when you need friends the most” Like I said I don’t know how to explain it but there’s definitely a correlation.