30 Medieval Pickup Lines To Prove You're Her Knight In Shining Armor 
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30 Medieval Pickup Lines To Prove You’re Her Knight In Shining Armor

These pickup lines from Ask Reddit might not work now, but they would’ve killed in the middle ages.

1. On a scale of one to ten, you’re a baker’s dozen.

2. Are you an iron rod? Because I could hammer you on my concrete slab.

3. They don’t call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing.

4. Hast thou fallen from the sky, luminous angel? For thine buttocks art out of this world!

5. I’d like to stick my sword in your stone.

6. Is that the black plague in your pocket or are you just dying to see me?

7. How’d you like to come back to my castle to meet Little King Arthur and his Knights of the Pound Table?

8. My lord, I am skilled in the French arts.

9. If I’m Henry the Eighth, then you must be Anne Boleyn, because I really wanna take you out.

10. The King’s horse couldn’t stop me from mounting you.

11. Looks like your belt can only be opened one way, but I just so happen to have a master key.

12. May I take a gander beneath m’lady’s frock?

13. I shall make it rain on thee maidens.

14. Want Noble kids?

15. My lance never misses.

16. Ye gads! Didst thou do injurious disrepair pon thine wings when thou plummeted from yon Heavens?

17. I shall bury my phallus so deeply in thy hindquarters. May hap who retrieves it be crowned King Arthur.

18. Is that a sword in its sheath or are you happy to see me?

19. Doth thou heave thine ample bosomed harlot?

20. Hey girl, you see how many teeth I got left?

21. Dear fellow, if thy codpiece tells it true, I’d much enjoy a night spent knowing you.

22. Here be 10 groats. Sendeth a messenger to yon father to telleth him thou won’t be home this night.

23. Are thou est the plague, because thy maiden is causing swelling of my glands?

24. The King demands your presence, I know him and I can get you into the castle.

25. Dost thou haveth a little Anglo-Saxon within thyself? Wouds’t thou liketh to?

26. Would thou like to join me in mine hovel for a cup of mead?

27. Thou hast swept me off my very feet, as the plague hath a commoner.

28. Greetings, I’m aware I have just made your acquaintance, and this strikes of pure lunacy but I wish to present you with my personal numerical address. So contact me for copious discourse perhaps?

29. Hey girl that spear through your chest isn’t the only shaft you’ll be getting.

30. I don’t have lice. TC mark

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January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer. Her work has appeared on Facebook, ... Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.