1. Sometimes it’s hoes before bros. Facts. Swallow that pill.
They made a decision to fall in love with somebody who truly understands them. Somebody who sees them as they want to be seen which may be a different person than what the “bros” see. Obviously I’m not condoning them straight up ditching their bros for her but damn if he chooses to stay the night in with her it doesn’t mean that he’s “pussy-whipped”. He might actually want to spend some quality time with her and chill the fuck out.
Don’t get mad if the homie wanna chill with his girl and put in some quality time with her.
2. If you catch another bro crying, don’t make fun of him or tell other people that you saw your bro crying.
3. Never knowingly fuck another man’s woman. If you do so unknowingly, and find out afterwards, at least give him the opportunity to find out what happened. He may want to remain ignorant, but at least he was given that choice.
4. If your bro is sad, you are to comfort him and then not bring it up.
5. Do not drink your bro’s booze supply unless he offers first.
6. Your bro’s sisters, exes, aunts, and mother are all off limits. Period.
7. Step in and tell your bro if you see he’s making a woman uncomfortable.
Gotta look out for our female bros as much as the male ones.
8. If a bro flakes on you for another bro, it’s bad but if he flakes to hang out with a girl leave him be.
9. If you unknowingly blow your bro’s cover, you must IMMEDIATELY alert him to the situation.
Interrogator: Do you know where your bro is?
Me: Yeah, dude’s out golfing.
Interrogator: Oh, he said he was *insert lame cover story for fun time*
Me: Ohhhh, yeah he musta went golfing AFTER he did that lame shit.
*text bro* CODE RED. COVER BLOWN. CEASE ANY AND ALL FUN AND PREPARE FOR IMMINENT COUCH SLEEPING.
10. If your bro is headed downhill into drugs and alcohol, as a bro it is your job to intervene and save his ass.
11. If a bro is about to cheat on his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband, you get to intervene once. If he’s sober enough to stand, look you in the eyes and tell you to fuck off, your hands are clean. You tried. If he’s too fucked up, get him outta dodge before he does something stupid you could stop.
12. Don’t mess with another man’s wife/girl. It’s just wrong, and can completely destroy a man’s mind and soul.
13. No looking at others while using the urinals. You just don’t.
14. Don’t throw friends under the bus to impress others.
15. If your bro is on a date with a new girl and you’re in a group setting, help him out by asking your bro about the things that make him special.
“Hey Bro, are you going to be a ski instructor again this year?”
“Dude, you still rocking the guitar?”
Give him the chance to shine and be modest while he talks about himself.
16. If you get a bro or group of bros to help you move, you repay them with either a tank of gas, pizza or beer. Never take their help for granted.
17. If your bro found wife material and is talking about messing it up with another woman, you remind him what he has and where he was before her.
18. If your bro is having troubles with mental health problems and reaches out to you, don’t belittle him, help him find the help he needs. Suicide is one of the biggest killers in young men around the world.
19. A bro should always help another bro stay out of a fist fight. If a fight is inevitable, bros should have each other’s back.
20. If you can help a bro get laid (i.e. by leaving the dorm, finding a different ride somewhere, etcetera) DO!
21. Leave your masculinity at the door. Real bros don’t flex on bros.
22. Don’t get into any type of business with your bro. Money changes every relationship.
23. If you get in an argument with your friend and then cut him out of your life, don’t tell other people his secrets, or any sensible information about him that could bring him down in the eyes of others. Just stay silent and don’t fucking start gossiping, it really screams shitty person.
24. Don’t look at anyone’s phone with out asking. People will defend that shit with their lives.
25. If your bro messages you in a private convo (separate from the bro group chat), and they tell you something really personal, NEVER just expect the rest of the bros know this story. Feign ignorance if another one of them brings it up too.
Not your place to tell someone’s personal shit.
The only exception to this is if it’s something that could seriously harm said bro and you can’t fix it yourself. Let the other bros know right away.
26. If your bro is seriously dedicated and passionate about something that ISN’T detrimental to his health, don’t make fun of him for it.
27. If your buddy has a gf/fiancé/wife who makes subtle digs at him in front of you and/or other friends for the sole purpose of embarrassing or humiliating him, always take his side. When he’s dealing with passive aggressive harassment he needs someone to back him up.
28. Pay your fucking debts back.
29. Never cockblock your mate unless necessary and never hit him in the balls (only exception is in self-defense or if he truly deserves it).
30. Player 1 is the person who owns the console.