50 Things You Never Realized Guys Were Insecure About 

50 Things You Never Realized Guys Were Insecure About 

A few men from Ask Reddit have revealed what makes them feel self-conscious every single day.

1. When I see my wife check out other men in front of me. I can fully accept she will find other people attractive in life and I’m fine with that. But on the odd occasion when we’re out and we’re talking and I see her eyes track someone and I look to see what’s interesting and it’s another guy.

2. I’m a really skinny dude and people think I don’t already know that. Like, you wouldn’t go up to someone overweight and say wow you’re so fat, so why is the opposite acceptable to constantly do?

3. My weight in comparison to my girlfriend. She’s a fitness instructor while I work a desk job, I’m not huge or anything but for example we went to Mexico and took pictures on the beach, she looks like a VS model and I look like I like pasta. Which I do.

4. I don’t even know if my dick is a size that’s considered small or large and I’m still insecure about it.

5. I’m a sensitive dude. I always interpreted it as a strength and women value it immensely that I can just talk about my emotions and have empathy and shit.

I’m incredibly scared that it’s “too much” for most to get into a relationship or that I’ll be abandoned because of it.

6. Long term bachelorhood. It literally affects every single component of your life and factors into, if not outright propagates other various anxieties. Fear of dying alone? Long-term single doesn’t help. Fear of social interactions? Again, long-term really doesn’t help. Lack of motivation of self-improvement? You’ve guessed, being long-term single only compounds these issues.

7. My lack of “manly” traits. I don’t enjoy sports, I don’t drink, I don’t own any guns, I don’t really enjoy sex or hookup culture, etc. There is nothing wrong with liking those things in the slightest, but in my small town it makes me feel isolated from other male friends.

And my body. I feel really, really uncomfortable taking my shirt off at a pool party or something similar. While I know the expectation is unrealistic, I feel lesser for not being fit.

8. My man boobies.

I’m in good shape. A lot of people would argue fantastic shape. Muscular, six-pack-in-the-right-light lean, tall, broad, and barrel chested.

I still have man boobies. Not gyno, not a little spot of breast tissue behind the nipple, no. Just a long strip of normal fat that goes from my clavicle, under my pec and to the back of my armpits that WILL NOT DIE.

I have sacrificed so much and worked so hard to be proud of my body (former childhood morbid obesity), yet despite being at <8% bf at one point, my man boobies will never, ever go away. It’s really depressing.

9. Random erectile dysfunction, shit just strikes like lightening sometimes and it sucks.

10. I hate that I’m losing my hair before 30. Baldness does not agree with me.

11. My height.

12. Comparing myself to other guys my age. Most have moved out of their parents houses, some have kids. I’m getting there but I feel I am so far behind.

13. When the girl you’re dating starts talking to you about her exes, especially when she still keeps in touch with some of them…

14. My mental illness. I make it very difficult to care about me “long term” because of it. It has a tendency to cause me to push people away, especially when I need their support the most.

15. My uselessness in relationships. I’ve been married and divorced, and I’ve been dating for ages now, but I don’t think I’m any good at bringing anything particularly valuable to a relationship.

16. After being cheated on it’s pretty hard to believe anybody could actually have genuine feelings for me.

Being incredibly awkward and shy does not help the above.

17. My weight. I’ve been 115lbs for a majority of my life at 5″9. Been told a bit from leaders inside the company telling me “I need to eat more” to people leaving comments on my pictures the same. Doctors have always told me that I was healthy at that weight – it just is as it is.

Been making a change and the last five months I’ve added 17 lbs to about 132. But its been a very difficult journey – eating and being bloated and constantly cooking enough. The gym has been good to me though.

18. Limited sexual experience.

19. My lack of drive. Lack of achievements and seeing any endeavor all the way through. I see it as cowardliness and incompetence.

20. My teeth.

21. Faults that people have said I have, apparently my hands are on the smaller side, didn’t notice but now I hide them at every opportunity.

22. My social awkwardness. I cannot talk to strangers well. I do not have that skill. I wished I did but due to being bullied as a kid and me being major consumer of anime, I had a hard time making a lot of friends. Let alone having much in common with a lot of people especially at my workplace.

23. Constantly swiping right on apps never getting a match.

24. My small penis size, the fact I am a virgin at 27, the fact I don’t know how to kiss or be in a relationship.

25. My hair. Even if I was the last person on Earth I’d want great hair, unfortunately I inherited shitty genetics. I resent my parents far more than I’ll ever reveal to them.

26. My income. I feel so darn obligated to earn a wage and support myself and my fiancée and it makes me so insecure. I’m always nervous about the mortgage, paying bills and providing for our household. It’s not even like I don’t make a good wage or can’t afford things. Nor does she expect me to pay for everything. I just feel obligated to do it and stress over it all the time.

27. My high voice, which probably caused my social anxiety. It sounds like I never went through puberty. (I am 19 yo) And phone calls are exceptionally awkward. I am less self-aware of it after I learnt to deepen my voice, but it had gotten to a phase where I would only use signs to answer basic question (like nodding and pointing to objects).

28. When a woman is taller than me (I’m only 5’6” so taller than most woman but a good amount of women are taller than me).

29. Seeing these younger guys my age in BMW’s pull up next to you and stare. I get it dude, I’m in a Honda. Please keep staring. I see your girlfriend in there too, and no – I’m not going to salivate over your 2007 3 series with 150K miles.

30. My man boobs.

31. Sincerely opening up in a relationship. I think most guys have a not necessarily fake, but a shallow superficial opening up we do mainly in relationships. Like oh I secretly like rom coms or I actually really dig looking at flowers. Like a nice little hidden soft side for SO’s to discover but it isn’t too soft because that would be a problem. I’m not able to show her the real raw stuff. I guess I’m insecure about opening up about my insecurities

32. When my girl doesn’t reply or seems really distant. I’ve no clue what’s wrong or what I can do to help.

33. My lack of wealth. I don’t care about money, but I do care about being stopped by security in stores on the assumption I am there to rob it.

34. The fact that I have a bigger ass than all of my past girlfriends.

35. I’m a fucking weird person. I feel like I was made differently. There is many people who say they are weird, many who want to be seen as weird. But to be actually different suck’s so much dick.

36. My trust issues with everyone I meet, I have been backstabbed many times, by many people. It sucks.

37. I “grew up” and got my shit together pretty late in life. I’m insecure about my future. I’m constantly worried abut a lack of seniority at my job and I’m pretty sure that I’m probably never going to retire. I’ll probably work until I die.

38. My social skills in front of women that are attractive. Even if I have no plans to pursue something.

39. The fact that I’ve never had a girlfriend and I’m 23 going on 24. Growing up my dad always told me that the time would come but sometimes I begin to think that its just never going to come.

40. A group of women laughing loudly when I happen to be walking by.

41. My seeming inability to fall in love again. What if it’s broken after that one ex and now I’m stuck, unable to fully invest into someone again? What if I’m just dooming all my future relationships to failure before they even begin?

Also, my dick. It could be 9″ long and I’d still be insecure about it.

42. The feeling that everyone depends on you while you don’t have anyone to depend on.

43. My looks, my personality, my income, my car.

44. Seeing other men younger than me doing better than me.

Fuck it’s like every 25 year old I see has a better job, drives a better car, has a better relationship with other people, eats better food, travels to more places. I feel like a fucking loser every time and it just reminds me why I’m, still single and nobody wants me.

45. People laughing at me for a mistake. I never want to participate in anything again.

46. Being told I’m creepy. A woman at a bar 7 years ago called me creepy because I maintained eye contact during a conversation. I got so insecure about that, that I no longer maintain eye contact with anyone for longer than 3 seconds. It actually made my gf insecure because she thought I never wanted to look at her. Feels bad, man.

47. The fact that when I broke up with my ex, that all our “mutual friends” disowned me. They were never my friends, they were her’s. Made me question all friendships. Luckily I do have a few strong ones today.

48. My skinny chicken legs.

49. I wish I was about 50 lbs lighter. Working on it though.

50. The general sense of loneliness an failure which makes me feel pathetic. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

January Nelson

January Nelson

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.