50 Ways Men Can Completely Ruin Their Chances With A Strong Woman

50 Ways Men Can Completely Ruin Their Chances With A Strong Woman

This is how you ruin a date, according to Ask Reddit.

1. He straight up said to me, “I’m just an alpha, you know? A lot of people can’t handle that.”

2. He talked so much about himself I barely got any time to say anything, so it ended up with me just saying, “oh, yeah, uh-uh, cool,” and him not asking a single question about me. That guy really just took himself out on a date.

3. Went on a date with a guy and every time I would ask about details of his job or education he would say things like, “Let me see how I can dumb it down for you…” or “I’m sure you won’t understand any of this, but…” I was so offended that when the check came, I whipped my wallet out to pay for or split the bill and just be done with it when he said. “Oh no, I’m sure I make more than you do, don’t worry.”

4. He thought that being witty required making fun of every person in his life.

5. Ghosting me and then turning-up again weeks later to see if I was still interested – when he was clearly just using that time to follow-up with someone he liked more than me, but then he got dumped.

I don’t think every relationship requires an explicit break-up. If we’ve only been out a few times and you’re not interested, not getting back to me gets the message across loud and clear. But keep in mind, doing it that way can burn the bridge.

6. What came out of his mouth was right, and I was wrong. Wouldn’t stop texting me every half hour till he went to bed. He kept forcing me to say I liked him. Seriously? Afterwards, he went on a date with someone to make me jealous. He kept texting me every detail of his date WHILE the date was happening. How are you even doing that? I only felt bad for the other girl. I don’t know what I saw in him initially, but I’m glad I realized my mistake quite soon.

7. I was chatting with this guy I had on my snapchat. I hadn’t really given him a chance as I wasn’t attracted to him. Once I started to talk to him more and more I decided that I’d take his offer to go on a date. He was always such a gentleman and so sweet I figured we’d have a fun night. So later that evening I go to open my snapchat and there it is. A FUCKING DICK PIC. so I text back “hey I’m going to have to cancel our date.” Ive told him so many times that it’s such a disappointment when you find a great guy and make a date with them and then shove their penis in your face. Like they ask you on a date and you accept and they automatically think “ya they wanna see my dick.” I haven’t talked to him since.

8. He was very controlling and had to be right about everything – even if he was legitimately misinformed. I think he just liked to hear himself talk as you could hardly ever get a word into a conversation with him. He would also try to fluff himself up by making fun of others, including his own friends.

Overall, just came off as being very arrogant. There’s a clear difference between being intelligent/confident… or being an arrogant asshole.

9. This guy totally lost me on a date in college when he started talking about being on the basketball team and his social influence + the money he somehow made being on the team, how much girls loved him. Ego for days for no reason = a dealbreaker.

10. Dude that was interested in me at one point was on again/off again with this other girl and he kept trying to get me to have dinner with him/hang out/whatever under the guise that he was going to break up with her soon and “she doesn’t need to know”. Um. No.

11. Telling me how you don’t really like (or wanted) your kids and that your ex is crazy is really not helping your case.

12. A boyfriend of a few days told me I should start gymnastics again after telling him I used to. I asked why and he responded with, “It’d help you lose weight.” I was 110 pounds.

13. First date after meeting online we went for coffee and he spent the majority of it telling me how we’ll move to a big property and how we will raise our kids. ….not “oh this is what I’d like when I meet the right person” but specifically “when we get married this will happen, and we’ll try right away for a family and once you have our first baby this will happen” etc.

14. Tried negging me at the start of the date, then threw a tantrum when I refused to have sex with him… he actually said I owed him sex because he paid for my movie ticket”. Dude, I don’t think you could get a handjob from a sex worker for the price of a movie ticket.

15. One guy showed up 40 minutes late, wouldn’t get off his phone, only grunted at me instead of talking, and then called me a “fat ugly whore American” when I said I wasn’t interested.

16. I caught him flirting with another girl at a party so he could have a backup in case it didn’t work out.

17. Calling my breasts “the twins.” I get it that some women dig that, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Told him multiple times please don’t stare or name my body parts but it never changed so I gave up and walked away.

18. He was cute, offered to buy me a drink. I tell him I’m DD so I’ll have a Shirley Temple. He repeatedly insists that I get something with alcohol instead. He actually gets angry when I say I really can’t.

He then comes right out and says that girls are easier when they are drunk. And calls me a bitch.

19. He started saying things like ”I don’t think I can go on without you” after a week of casually talking through an app.

Possibly an attempt to make me feel special, but I ran for the hills.

20. Me and this guy were flirting back and forth for awhile and I was really interested until he started sharing nice guy memes on facebook (e.g I lm such a nice guy but girls only want abusive alpha jocks) which quickly put me off.

21. The first two times we talked one on one he asked me for a booty call and then tried to sext me, but when I want to have an actual conversation he says he’s “not good with words.” He wrote a giant paragraph trying to sext me so he must only be good when he wants to get his dick wet.

22. We had been lightly texting for a couple days after meeting at a bar, then I forgot my phone when I left for class. Got home a couple hours later to see he had texted me 12 times getting annoyed that I wasn’t responding.

His last message was “it’s probably cause you think you’re too good for me.”

Well I mean I didn’t think that before but yeah now I definitely do.

23. By being rude to the Uber driver. He talked to them as if they were his inferiors. As fucking if! I told him right then and there that we would catch separate Ubers back to our cribs. I was NOT feeling that shit.

24. This just happened on a FIRST date 2 nights ago! This guy kept asking me if I party, how much I party, how much I partied in college (I graduated 5 years ago), how I knew my best friend was bisexual, how my best friend came out to me, if we’ve ever made out and if I’ve ever kissed a girl, why I joined a sorority and how I managed to be friends with all the girls. He also kept touching my leg (and at one point was stroking my ENTIRE leg. I’m talking from the thigh down to my ankle) and commenting on how slowly I was drinking my beer even after I said I’m a slow drinker and like to enjoy my drinks. And he also kept asking me about guys I hooked up with in college, how guys behave on Tinder, how many guys message me and he even had the balls to ask if I would show him messages other guys send me. Also, he kept making all these assumptions about me and wouldn’t really let me correct him, and kept asking rapid fire questions.

25. He approached me at the bus stop, and said “Hey I just wanted to say I think you’ve very pretty. Is it ok if I give you my number?”

He did everything right. He was courteous and respectful. Bonus points for offering me HIS number instead of asking for my number (giving me the opportunity to not contact him if I wasn’t interested).

The only reason I didn’t text him later was because his entire body and face were covered in the trashiest tattoos I’ve ever seen. Swastikas, marijuana leaves, 666, 69, dice, teardrops under the eyes, that sort of shit. I love tattoos, and I think you should be judged on your behaviour – not your appearance, but there are definitely exceptions to that rule.

26. He asked me the same “small talk” questions ten minutes after me answering the first time.

Then he asked them again.

27. On the first date, he bragged to me about how he basically scammed another guy out of a motorcycle. What was worse was how proud of himself he was. There wasn’t a second date.

28. He was rude as fuck to a server. She was a teenager and it was probably her first job. He threw the straw she handed him and demanded she lay it on the table, not hand it to him. Poor thing looked like she was going to cry. I left immediately but nor before handing her a twenty and gave her a little pep talk.

29. I drove for my second date with a guy. Picked him up at his house, and while chatting on the way to the restaurant, we merge onto the highway. Though the merge onto the highway was completely normal and uneventful he said, “Do you hate merging?”

I respond, “No…..why would I feel any way about merging?”

He replied, “Most women hate merging. I guess it’s scary for them. Driving is a lot for most women.”

Okay, we’re done here.

30. He told me he loved me. It was the first date, a blind date.

31. He got angry when I wouldn’t wait for him to open the door for me. Like, literally sneered and sighed and muttered to himself.

If you are walking ahead of me or it’s a smooth movement, sure – please open the door. But I am not going to stand in front of the door and wait for you to catch up and open it. That’s ridiculous.

The first person to the door should open it for the other person. That’s common courtesy.

32. He genuinely thought that a penis could stretch out a vagina permanently, and slut shamed me over and over for not being a virgin when we met. Never mind the fact that he had twice the number of partners I’d had (that he told me about), but “that’s different because a penis doesn’t become less pleasurable with every partner, just more experienced.” GAG.

33. Took me back to his place where he hadn’t taken the trash out for weeks, so the whole place smelled like actual garbage. I got out of there as fast as possible and still associate the strong smell of garbage with him, twelve years later.

34. Most recently, not asking a single question about me. I’m not going to keep talking about you dude.

35. First date, he said he wanted to know if he could “fit” all the way inside of me (out of the blue; we weren’t talking about anything sexual before he had made that comment). Really? Jesus Christ.

36. On our first “date”, he picked me up with his baby in the backseat and an open beer in the cupholder.

37. He made several racist comments about his co-workers. I called him out. He said he couldn’t be racist because he’s a feminist who loves women!

38. We were chatting and he seemed cool before saying “I’m basically the real life version of BoJack Horseman”. He then could not comprehend why that’s not an attractive comparison, even after boasting he has seen the whole series four times.

39. Gave him a ride home from a party in my hometown (I was visiting for the holidays.) Got to his house. He started crying about how cruel and unfair it was for him to have met me because now he knows there’s someone as perfect out there as I am but it’ll never happen since I live in another state. It took me nearly two hours to get him out of my car because he was just crying and holding this giant tub of cheese balls in his lap.

Yes, he was sober. And yes, this was the first time we had met.

40. He was an acquaintance and I had known him for a year or so. Went on a date and he jokingly choked me and told me he had had like 16 girlfriend but had never dated anyone longer than 6 months.

41. By faking an Irish accent.

This guy literally spoke on the phone for ages while faking an Irish accent; I met up with him at a gig and he spoke in an Irish accent the whole time.

I genuinely believed he was Irish up until a friend of his told me he was putting it on the whole time..

This was in England, but just… Why?

42. He was a friend of a friend. First thing he says when he meets me is “I know this will make you uncomfortable, but you have the best fucking tits out there.” This was before a hello or anything. Just… Straight to the point.

43. He took me to McDonald’s. That wasn’t the problem, though, it was the way he acted like an ass to the cashier. He also stopped by his mom’s apartment to have a loud argument with her and his sister, so that was awkward.

44. He was a coworker of mine at a restaurant. He was about 10 years older than me, and I knew he was interested, but I wasn’t sure. He seemed nice though, so I was thinking about it… but something seemed off.

I ended up at a mutual friend’s party a while later and he was there. I wasn’t drinking and decided to leave early. He had been drinking and decided to follow me through the dark to my car. He called my name as I got to my car, so I turned around and he started demanding I give him a chance and go out with him. I apologized and said I didn’t think it was a good idea, and he got upset. He started yelling, saying I had been a tease and leading him on and then just kept yelling “just go out with me! Just say yes” over and over as he grabbed my shoulders and slammed me into the side of my car. He held me there, pinned against my car, and kept screaming in my face.

He was about 6’2”. I’m 5’3”.

I started to cry and told him he was scaring me. He took a step back and I got into my car as fast as I could, locked the door and got the fuck out of there.

45. Met a guy at a wing restaurant after I got off work. The majority of the time we were there, he talked about his ex-wife. After he finished eating, he asked if I wanted to get frozen custard or see a movie. I told him I’d rather watch a movie (dietary restrictions) and, since I didn’t know the area well, I’d follow him to the theater in my own car. Instead of driving to the theater, he drove to the custard place. He didn’t even mention the movie again. Just ordered himself a big custard.

46. I was friends with a guy from work that I kind of liked. After we hung out with some other friends, he walked me to my car. I had to leave to get home for curfew. He leaned on the car door and wouldn’t let me leave and told me I was lying about having a curfew. I was really creeped out. He kept wanting me to kiss him while he basically wouldn’t let me get in my car. I told him we shouldn’t because if we weren’t sure we are going to date, it would make our friendship weird. Later he told me I was right about not kissing because I wasn’t emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship.

Dodged a big bullet there.

47. He picked me up in a stolen car and we got pulled over by 2 cops who recognized the plates as a car reported missing from a used car lot. I explained the situation, that it was our first date and they let my mom pick me up and I went home.

48. He told me I’d look like I was 13, if not for the wrinkles. Managed to insult me for looking too young and too old at the same time. I’m 24, for reference.

When I looked offended, he said, “Oh! Don’t worry, I like that you kinda look like you’re 13!”

49. I went out once with someone who brought a pair of glasses to our first date and asked if I would wear them the entirety of our relationship. He already knew I didn’t wear glasses so he had gone ahead and put in fake lenses for me.

When I asked why, he said it was because he always imagined himself marrying someone who wore glasses.

Also, he told me that he found those glasses on the floor at the movie theatre. Lucky me!

50. First red flag was how antsy he was to get me on the phone (was a friend of a friend on Facebook), so antsy I almost didn’t call him.

The deal breaker for me was something along the lines of “you’re not like most women, you can actually understand the complex subjects I like to talk about. most women are too vapid and dull to compete with my intellec-“



Gentleman, if you have to state you’re above average in intellect, you aren’t. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.