1. During the vows, the bride laughed at the “for richer or poorer” part and wouldn’t say it. Somehow they’re still going strong. I sure hope he never loses his job.
2. Groom was making out with a bridesmaid while his new bride proceeded to get black-out drunk and cry in the corner.
3. The groom refused to get dressed and wore a black t-shirt and sneakers. The bride looked incredible in her gown and he looked like he was popping to the shops for a pack of ciggies.
4. It was a dual wedding. That’s right folks, TWO sets of my friends got married at the same time. I thought it was stupid and neither marriage would last two years.
I was right.
5. The groom wouldn’t stop talking about the marriage like it was a prison sentence. He incessantly went on about how it was the end of his freedom and how he was going to be tied down to “the ball and chain” now. They were divorced in just under a year.
6. I was best man at my mate’s wedding. The bride hit on me.
7. The groom spent the almost the entire wedding glued to his (female) work colleague, to the point that the bride had to drag him away for their first dance. They also kept going off somewhere together (a friend tried to follow them outside but it was too dark to locate them). You could see the obvious hurt on the bride’s face throughout the day.
Prior to the wedding he’d taken his colleague away abroad for his stag ‘do (just the two of them, despite the bride’s protests), and in his wedding speech he pointed his colleague out and told her that he’d had “the best time of his life” that weekend.
They’re still together at the moment but I don’t see it being the happy ending that the bride was so desperate for.
8. The bride and groom got in an argument post-reception and the bride ran away.
It was in a small town in the middle of nowhere but we ran around all night trying to find her. What an adventure.
9. The father of the bride made a speech about how he saw his daughter ‘organizing’ the groom over time. Basically, instead of telling a story of their burgeoning love, it was a tale of how she began to control him over time. Was cringey. Lasted 3 years.
10. The bride-to-be of my friend would not let him participate in the entire bachelor party. It wasn’t even a risqué itinerary: more of just a guy’s night with drinking and poker and such. So we essentially had his stag without him.
11. Groom was sending texts to a very uninterested bridesmaid all night. Groom was also more interested in getting wasted with his buddies than being with the bride. There were also red flags BEFORE the wedding. No surprise they were divorced in less than a year.
12. The bride did not smile, neither during the ceremony nor during the reception. She never cracked a smile.
13. In my friend’s vows he was talking about her eyes which were blue and he called them green.
14. The pastor at the wedding, in front of a couple hundred people, said, “Can you believe that just two months ago, (bride’s name) was in my house, crying because she was so lonely and wanted to be married so badly? And now look at her two months later, getting married to a guy she met the next day!” Even her elderly grandmother laughed out loud.
15. Attended a very big, very religious wedding of a 21-year-old bride and a 22-year-old groom. They lied about where they met (it was on Tinder). During a round of truth or dare with the groom and his members of the wedding party the night before, he admitted his biggest love language is touch, but that his SO hated to express affection physically. All he wanted was to be cuddled sometimes, and she’d refuse.
He said he hoped it got better after they were married.
All the groomsmen made frantic eye contact and changed the subject.
They’re still married, as of a year later but PSA, guys: nothing “gets better” after you get married. That’s still your partner, that’s still your relationship.
16. The best man, the groom’s lifelong best friend, was gay. And I mean GAAY. All but one of the groomsmen were gay.
A few years after the wedding, the groom’s father died. Within a week of the funeral, he told her it wasn’t working and moved in with the best man.
Everyone did their best to act shocked.
17. She said “I do” while looking the guy she’d been in love with for a very long time straight in the eyes…
Spoiler alert: it wasn’t her soon-to-be husband.
Didn’t last a year.
18. Was at the wedding of an ex girlfriend who married young. (20) Husband got into a drunk fistfight with his groomsmen at the reception. I left after she threw her wedding ring at him.
19. The bride and groom didn’t hang out the entire wedding.
20. When the judge asked if anyone had any objections, and their newborn daughter began to scream like a banshee. A few years passed of constant fighting, she finally reveals the daughter wasn’t really his, they try to stick it out for about a year, and finally a divorce. Everyone always joked about the newborn’s objection. She was really just trying to warn them, I suppose.
21. The father of the groom brings up divorce in his speech as he was officiating the wedding.
22. There was a part of the ceremony where the bride and groom were kneeling at the altar. On the bottom of the groom’s shoes were two pieces of tape that read “HELP” and “ME” on them.
Never was clear whether he put them there or was pranked by his groomsmen, but it felt like an omen. They lasted less than a year.
23. The groom gives this speech during the reception about the wife being subservient to the husband and how it says this in the bible. The bride sorta jokes about how he’s dreaming and he very seriously is like no that is what is gonna happen…..
Divorced within 6 months
24. The groom spent almost all of his speech talking about his best man.
25. A friend was a bridesmaid in a wedding… When they said, “You may kiss the bride” the groom leaned in… When she went to kiss him he pulled away and pointed and laughed at her.
Also was flirting aggressively with the maid of honor.
Divorced within a year. No one was surprised.
26. The bride didn’t look happy to be walking down the aisle. She was smiling but it was very much a pasted on smile that I assumed was because she was nervous. Found out at the wedding that her parents had offered to pay for the big wedding or pay for a small wedding then give them the money for a down payment for a house. She wanted the wedding. Where we live the housing market is insanely competitive and this was at the peak of the housing prices right before the crash. Her parents basically offered her the ability to jump start their lives together, she turned it down for the big party with her as the center of attention.
It was over within 2 years. She didn’t even seem upset about it.
27. Went to a wedding of my wife’s coworker. She was the sweetest person and her fiancee was a total slob. Just a cocky, out of shape, burnt out frat guy. Had told her to her face about all the girls he’d slept with and how he’d had perfect weeks where he’d slept with a different girl every night. Pretty sure this was a bad technique to try and make her stick around and think he was desirable. Then at the wedding drinks so much (remember really big guy) he passed out before anyone has left and she has to take him to their hotel room passed out and doesn’t get to finish her own wedding or have a wedding night. I feel so sad for her.
28. Attended a wedding where the bride talked, not about her love for him or how great he is, but more about how he changed so much of his personality for her and how that made everything perfect.
29. Groom was clearly having a good time, bride was visibly uncomfortable. When it came time for vows the groom had a long list and read it off nicely. The bride said something along the lines of, “I’m just gonna wing it — basically you’re my best friend,” and trailed off soon after. Thank god for the open bar.
30. The groom forgot the bride’s name during his toast to her and called her a similar but very different name. (Like, if her name was Brenda, he called her Brittney.) It lasted two years.
31. When the “ex-girlfriend” stood up to object with a pregnancy stick in her hand. Positive it’s you, she said.
32. The groom had the ring in his pocket but forgot which one and the bride visually annoyed said, “That’s the kind of guy I’m marrying.”
They divorced within the year.
33. I was a groomsman. The groom was nowhere to be found as the night was winding up. The intoxicated bride, whom I’d met maybe 3 times prior, asked me to dance. Then she said to me: “When I masturbate, I think of you.” That was the first time she ever expressed interest in me.
They had 3 kids in five years. Both caught each other cheating on the other. Divorced at the 5-year mark.
34. The groom wanted to delay the wedding so they could do a last minute Taco Bell run.
They were divorced within 18 months.
35. At the end of the ceremony she changed into an extremely fancy going-away outfit – tight and purple and laced up down the sides. He changed into an old t-shirt and shorts that reeked of stale student-bachelor sweat and said, “Oh, I didn’t know we were dressing up.” She gave him a look of the purest hatred and disgust. They separated six months later.
36. I saw the newly married couple step out of an elevator, and he accidentally stepped on her dress. She snapped and turned around, yelling “Do that again and see what happens!
He was stone-faced and without saying anything, immediately went to the bar for a beer.
37. The husband slept with one of the bridesmaids a week before the wedding.
38. The groom was madly in love with his fiancé (as one would hope), always got the vibe she just wasn’t that… into it. During the wedding he was so nervous he stuttered. Bride rolled her eyes and looked pissed. Then later in the night after dinner and music had started, the bride got annoyed people weren’t staying in their allocates seats. They had a “wishing well” for presents. We added our anonymous gift with a card and thought that was that. One week later get an abusive call that we did not put in. This ended up getting so bad it tore down multiple friendships for the groom. Bride wanted enough money to buy a house. Turns out bride was cheating on him the whole time, with someone who was also married.
39. At the reception there is a local tradition for the groomsmen to ‘steal the bride’, basically they do a quick barhop and come back to continue the reception. My husband was a groomsman, and as more than an hour passed, I finally called him. He said she was having a blast and wouldn’t leave. The groom had arrived back after about 30 minutes, laughed it off at first, then relief when she finally blew back in totally smashed. They made it about 2 months after that.
40. Groom hated the bride’s family, groom’s family didn’t approve of the bride. Very awkward at a wedding! Bride makes her promises (something along the lines of “I promise to try and be worthy of your family” etc) and we all raise eyebrows at each other. Groom’s speech is all about how much he has helped his bride change for the better and how he ‘made her what she is’. Eyebrows are practically falling off the top of my head at this point. It’s been a few months so I guess we will wait and see…I just thought it was very controlling.
41. Went to a wedding for one of my older (male) cousins who has two sisters about my age. Apparently the bride talked to the oldest sister (whom the groom was very close to) and said something like, “Just so you know, you’re not the most important girl in his life anymore. I am.”
Can’t wait to see how this one plays out.
42. It was my wedding. The groom stopped the entire ceremony (which was held at our place) so he could watch The Simpsons. There was no discussion about this beforehand, he just did it.
No, we are not still married. Shocking, I know.
43. She posted on Facebook that it was “the worst day of her life.”
44. The groom said the wrong name during the vows.
45. Bride told me and my partner a few weeks earlier that she didnt want to go through with it. She had generic vows, husbands were beautiful. She had a sour face the whole time, it was almost funny. It ended up turning out that she was shagging my partner the last year and she left her husband for him 4 months in. I dodged a bullet.
46. Older guy marrying a young Eastern European. The groom’s friend said at the reception “This party is great. I hope I get invited to the one next year.” The guy had been married a few times before.
47. I’m the keyboard player for a wedding band so I’ve seen all sorts of ridiculous shit at weddings that would qualify as a red flag. That said, one stands above the rest: the groom aggressively grinding on 2 of the bridesmaids (simultaneously); one of which was the bride’s sister.
48. My cousin’s wedding: he was in the Army, his bride was 6 months pregnant, a senior in high school, and she had just turned 18 the previous day. Her grandfather was the officiant and he gave a big speech about how marriage was only between one man and one woman and no one can tear apart what God puts together. They opened their gifts in front of everyone like it was a birthday party. There was no alcohol, dancing, or food. Within 30-40 minutes after the gift opening the “happy” couple peeled out of the Boy Scout lodge, doing donuts while her teenage friends cheered them on. They spent the night at the hotel everyone was staying at – separately – which consisted of him getting shitfaced with his friends while she was alone in their room. In front of our entire family my sister said “I give them a year.” She was wrong though.
Within 3 months of the kid coming they had split and my cousin swears the kid isn’t his. The whole wedding was one giant fucking red flag.
49. The other day a coworker told me about a wedding she was just in the bridal party for – the groom and his mother were counting out how much each family gave as a cash gift and giving the bride grief because her family wasn’t able to give as much as the grooms family. I feel like that’s an insanely bad way to start a marriage.
50. At my brothers first wedding his fiance’s dad came into the room we were using to get ready and told my brother that if he wanted to leave that he would take care of all the people Inside and he wouldn’t even be mad.
My brother did it anyway. Divorced 4 months later.