1. My SOâs father just looked at me like an idiot and imparted the most helpful advice Iâve ever received to this day:
âWhat the fuck are you proposing to me for??? You should propose to my daughter you moron.â
That was when I knew I loved this man.
2. When we were dating he sent me an email called âapplication to date my daughter.â It had a bunch of joke questions on it. A few years later when I was ready to ask his permission I changed the title to âApplication to Marry My Daughter.â I filled it out and answered every question as seriously as possible. He gave permission immediately. No heart to heart talk. No questions. To this day he has it framed in his office.
I also asked him on my birthday. I figured heâd think it was rude to turn down my only birthday request. Gosh, that was 9 years ago.
3. We were heading out to the garage and I stopped him and said, âIâd like to ask your permissionâŚâ and he cut me off and put his hand out and said yeah.
4. I actually asked both of her parents. I took them out to dinner, had a great conversation with them about things. They were ecstatic about it. Her dad was thrilled that I made an occasion out of it, their other 2 daughterâs husbands just snuck up to him at his work and asked him, and her mom was really happy that I involved her as well since the other husbands hadnât done so either. I definitely got brownie points all around.
5. Actually not bad, got a more or less answer of âwhat took you so longâ and âwe already think of you as family.â
6. I texted them asking if we could have dinner. Just the three of us. They called and asked if this was what they thought, I said yes. We agreed to meet at a great deli halfway between us. (They live two hours away).
We sat down, ordered, and chatted a bit and then her father looked at me and goes, âSo?â
âIâd like to marry your daughter. â
âNo.â
âOk so then Iâm not paying for dinner.â
âAlright fine you can marry herâ :Chuckle:
We ate and chatted more. When it came time to leave I told them to take all the leftovers because my girlfriend would recognize the signature deli platters and wonder why I was near her parents.
That weekend they were going out of town and asked their daughter to house/cat-sit. She texted me on Friday going, âOh man, my parents went to [amazing deli] and have a ton of leftovers. I get to eat this all weekend. â
Such good food and I didnât get to have any leftovers. Still bitter about that.
7. I took my now-FIL out for churrascaria, telling him I wanted to celebrate. Kept waiting for him to ask me why we were celebrating. He never did, and, as lunch went on, I felt more and more awkward about the whole thing.
We actually left the restaurant and were standing in the parking lot when, during a moment of silence, I blurted out, âI want to ask [his daughter] to marry me.â Totally caught him off-guard, he pulled a real-life : -o face. I told him I was going to do it the following evening, and whipped out the ring I bought. He looked back and forth at the ring, then me, then the ring, then shook himself and gave me the biggest bear hug.
Top bloke, 10/10 FIL, would wed his offspring again.
8. I was so nervous I broke down and ugly cried in front of her dad⌠He gave me a big hug and ugly cried too. Worked out well.
9. I am a woman but my husband and I both asked each otherâs families for their blessing before we got engaged. We knew they would both be supportive but marriage is about families joining together. We each wrote a letter and received one in return. We put all 4 letters on display at our wedding reception.
10. My wifeâs dad is a great guy, but a true master in the art of âIDGAFâ
I called him, had the whole small talk, then:
ME: Doug, I was calling to ask for your daughters hand in marriage
Doug: Hey, sheâs a smart girl, thatâs up to her.
ME: Ya, I know, I âŚ.
I am not one who is usually without words, but didnât really know where to go from here.
11. I started dating my wife in high school, 3 years out of high school I decided to ask her. We had been together 5 years at that point.
I asked her father⌠his response was âIâll think about itâ
Two weeks later I get a call from my future mother in law telling me I could marry her daughter, and she was so sorry that he didnât tell me yes sooner. She said she was calling me for him to tell me yes. In the background I heard him yelling âfine! whatever!âŚâ Pretty sure he finally let it slip to her that I had asked him.
I know this makes him sound bad, but he really was just struggling giving up his youngest daughter. Heâs actually the best man/father/person Iâve ever known.
12. My wife made it very clear that her dad always wanted her future husband to ask him for permission. I donât really believe in the whole asking a father for permission thing but I figured Iâd give it a shot. Happy wife, happy life and all.
After a painfully awkward conversation with her parentsâ thick English accents, turns out that heâd just been messing with her the whole time. Didnât want me to ask for permission, awkward for both of us.
13. His reception was room temperature. Didnât say no but wanted be to have a better job, better house and more money saved up.
14. My father in-law is very traditional, and also values âmanlinessâ⌠neither of which terribly describes me.
I felt it would have been terribly rude to my SO if I were to ask her fatherâs permission to marry her, but I also felt he would have considered it rude if I didnât talk to him about it first, so what I did was this:
I took him off to the side, and said, âMike, Iâm going to be proposing to your daughter. What do you think of that?â
He took it very well, and I didnât compromise my values by âasking permissionâ.
Weâve been married for over two years now.
15. I took my SOâs dad out to dinner, and I just asked him and he started to cry and said yes. Then he told me heâs been calling me his son in law for a while anyway.
But honestly I wasnât surprised. He and I became good friends after my SO and I started dating.
16. I asked about 6 months prior to the engagement. He was excited and said he was going to start writing his father of the bride speech. He did a great job at the wedding because he had 18 months to prepare.
17. He laughed at me and said,âAre you sure?â And then they gave me a 72 hour return policy after the actual engagement. Now whenever she does something silly or strange, he says, âYou had your chance to give her back. Sheâs your problem now.â
18. My father in law is a man of few words so when I told him I wanted to marry his daughter (I didnât ask because my girlfriend and I were both in our thirties at the time, but I did want to tell him I was proposing) all I got was âGood.â
19. I asked a while before I was planning on proposing as we didnât see them often.
I canât remember the details but he said yes.
What I later found out was that asking meant a huge deal to him and he really appreciated it even though he knew I didnât have to ask and it wasnât expected
His other son in law and daughter just went round and said they were getting married. They didnât get on.
20. Teared up, said that I was who they had been praying for.
21. When I had this talk with my father in-law, he pretty much just side-stepped the conversation and grilled me about my credit score and about how important it was to be financially responsible. (For the record itâs not like Iâm obviously irresponsible or have a history of debt, my credit score is above 700) Hes a pretty gruff guy, so I was not expecting a overly emotional conversation, but that just blew me away. My wifeâs older brother gave me his blessing the next time I saw him since he heard his Father hadnât given me a definitive answer one way or the other. His reaction was basically, âWell youâre gonna do what youâre gonna do, but howâs your credit?â
22. I didnât ask, I just basically said, âWant to see something cool?â And I showed them the ring and they were super stoked so I guess it went pretty well.
23. He said, âOh yeah cool thanks for asking, you seem to be able to put up with her pretty well.â
Entire call took less than 2 minutes, which was very exciting.
24. When I spoke to my father in law about wanting his blessing in proposing to his daughter, he said of course but where is my goat? I didnât have a clue what he was talking about so laughed it off. He asked again â apparently it was an old time tradition to gift livestock to show you were financially capable of taking care of his daughter. Of course it was a joke on his part but little did he know that a friend of mine had a hobby farm at the time. Fast forward two weeks later we all get together at his house for a party and my friend shows up with a goat for him from me. He learned that day to be careful what he asks for around me.. love that man.
25. My father in law pretty much tried to talk me out of it because he did he didnât get married till he was 37. Didnât really care though and been married 10 years. In his face!
26. My wife told me I had to ask her Dad before I proposed to her. He shook my hand and asked if I had any doubts or questions, then he had a couple for me â mainly about my Mum, who died over a decade before and no-one in his family really knew anything about. So basically I went in expecting a quick chat and ended up telling him my life story.
27. My SOâs father just said, âOk, but you have to have a baby right away.â So he was telling me to bang his daughter asap.
28. He asked that we wait 3 years before trying to have kids. Smart guy; we divorced after 2.5 years.
29. Called the spouses father.
He just paused, went âuhhhâŚask[spouses mother]!â and hung up.
Called her and she started sobbing and welcomed me to the family.
So, pretty good I guess.
30. Shortly before he said âyesâ he made me promise to ânever hit her or cheat on her.â
31. We were out at dinner and my then Girlfriend went to the restroom. I asked him for her hand. His reaction was literally âwhaaaaaaat?â He said yes and asked when I was gonna propose. I said right now. Heâs a big time planner and plans every single detail for everything he does. He always gets mad that I never plan anything and everything always works out for me. Like asking him to marry his daughter a minute before I proposed.
32. I bought the ring, and suddenly couldnât wait to propose. Instead of taking a month to plan something spectacular, I just wanted to cook her dinner the next day and give her the ring then. So I called her mom, and asked her, then asked for her dadâs phone number at work. I couldnât even take the time to ask in person. I called the building, and they had to call for him over the PA system to come answer the phoneâŚ
When I asked him, he got all choked up, I think there might have even been some tears. Itâs really the only time Iâve heard him cry, other than at his dadâs funeral. Heâs a big tough construction worker, so he normal doesnât show emotion like that.
He said of course I could propose to her, btw.
33. I asked permission from my future father-in-law to both date and marry his daughter. Both times, he just gave me a big grin before consenting.
I see some comments here that people donât think you need permission. Youâre right. You donât. But view it as a respectful, old school move. Just remember, youâre not just marrying your spouse, youâre also marrying their family.
Itâs been 16 years since we were married. In that time, Iâve lost my own dad. Fortunately, I have a father-in-law that I love like a father and who loves me like his own son. Respect and open communication from the beginning has paid off in spades.
34. I took him to a cocktail bar, he knew what was coming. I gave my little speech and asked his permission and he responded? âHow could I say no?â
Which was nice but completely knocked me off guard â as if he was challenging me to come up with reasons why he shouldnât.
When I proposed my now-wife said, âOf course!â So I always joke that her family has a problem with the word âyes.â
35. My wifeâs parents are Korean and donât really speak English too well however they can understand quite a bit. While visiting them one day after dinner I began to ask her parentâs permission to marry while using English. Her father, who is a real old school guy and man of little words, suddenly stops me and says in English âpermissionâŚ.â then something I didnât understand in Korean.
Well⌠my wife suddenly starts crying and her father remains stone cold so Iâm thinking⌠âdamn⌠did this dude just shoot me down?â It wasnât until many minutes later when the atmosphere got more happy and I asked my wife what did he say in Korean that I learned it was âpermission grantedâ⌠but hah, what a shock at first.
36. My father in law was confused. I had just had my house burglarized and he had been helping me sort things out. When I started talking to him about proposing his head was thinking about the robbery. I donât remember how I started the conversation. I think it was initially about âI bought a ringâ and he was thinking it had been stolen and we had to add it to the insurance list, but after about a minute he goes âoh, youâre talking about proposing, yeah thatâs a great ideaâ.
I never thought if it as âasking permissionâ I was asking for his blessing. Basically giving me an idea of how easy it was going to be to assimilate with the family. If he said no, I would have âcool, Iâm still gonna do it, I hope you change your mind one dayâ
37. It was incredibly awkward. I basically showed up out of nowhere in the middle of day while they were eating lunch. He invited me to eat but I said I just needed to talk to him for a couple of minutes after they finished eating.
As soon as I said that, he just looked at me concerned. His face looked like he was expecting bad news. Up to this point I was pretty relaxed and just ready to have an easy conversation. Me and my wife had been dating like 7 years at that point and I knew the family well.
As soon as I saw that expression though, everything changed. I started blabbing back and forth about how it wasnât bad news, but good news but that it could wait until after they finished eating.
His expression didnât improve. I could already see his mind racing on wtf to do. He then said we might as well just talk right now. Uh okay..
I told him I wanted to marry his daughter and that I just wanted their blessings before I proposed..
He was shocked and clearly not ready to hear the news. I mean, I could literally see his lip twitch. He didnât say anything. At this point Iâm fucking nervous as hell too. Did I fuck up?âŚ..
I quickly changed to topic back to lunchâŚ.we went and sat there awkwardly eating. I tried to keep bringing up how long weâve been together and how much I loved their daughter. It didnât really go anywhere.
Afterwards he just said, âif thatâs what you kids want to do and youâre ready for it then you guys have our blessing..â I think I was just too weirded out at that point. I was just happy to leave and glad I got that hurdle over with.
38. He told me that there are other fish in the sea⌠ended up taking his advice
39. I messed up my dates and my future FIL was on vacation out of state the week before I was planning on proposing to my girlfriend. It wasnât so much for permission as much as I knew they would be really excited and they would be coming home to an engaged daughter. When I asked him, he said âThe fact that my daughter kept you around for two years is all the proof needed that you belong together. I donât have any objectionsâ.
And then, because they were traveling with my wifeâs brother and his family, my MIL spilled the beans and I received about 50 texts from all 8 of her brothers ranging from congratulations to sarcastic threats. And then I had to go through with it, because if we showed up to family dinner the next week and she didnât have a ring, my ass would have been grass.
40. Donât just ask the father, ask both. This is especially true if they are divorced. My fianceeâs parents are divorced but have a working relationship. I was not nervous to ask my fianceeâs mother because I knew she was going to be over the moon excited. I was nervous to ask her father. How did it go? I didnât have to ask. I called him one day and he goes, âI know why you are calling and before you say anything, I want you to know I am okay with it but we need to get her mother involved as well.
I setup a dinner meeting to meet both of them and asked the question. He went first and stated he was fine with it. She, on the other hand, went on about how happy she was. Everyone is different, ask both parents.
41. I told my (future) wife I was going out for beers with the guys but actually went to her folks house. I didnât ask permission but more for their blessing. We talked and laughed and cried, it was great. After I proposed, I told my wife that I had lied about beers to meet with her Mom and Dad, she thought it was so sweet she started crying. Weâve been together for nearly 10 years and married for 2.
42. Me â So, I, uh, wanted to, uh, make sure, uh, you were okay if I were to, uh, ask your daughter to, uh, spend the rest of her life with me.
Father-in-law â what the hell took you so long?
43. I called him up and told him that I would have liked to discuss this face to face with him, (I lived about 400 miles away from him at that point) but his daughter coming up to visit me that weekend and I when I saw her, I didnât think Iâd be able to wait any longer. I got his blessing. Been married 11 years now.
44. My wife and her grandfather were very very close. Her grandparents more or less exclusively raised her. We had been dating for about 4 years and he got incredibly sick. He had about 10 strokes and had cancer eating away at him and to this day I canât believe he lived as long as he did; he was a tremendous guy. Anyway, I had the ring and planned to propose but was going to wait until the holiday season, but he wasnât going to make it until then. I went to her grandparents and essentially just showed them the ring without saying much. I was planning to pull it out and ask them for permission to ask her to marry me because I figured theyâd appreciate that, but the second I showed up to the house alone and asked them to talk they knew what was up. When I pulled out the ring her grandmother immediately teared up and gave me a big hug. I knew I had her vote but I wasnât too sure about him; we had some conversations that led me to believe he wanted us to finish college before marrying. Anyway after grandmother sorta settled down I was able to turn to grandfather who struggled to speak because of his strokes. He told me he loved me like his own son and wanted nothing more than to see me become part of the family. I donât know how I deserved such a response but it meant everything to me to hear him say that. He died before our engagement a couple weeks later. Weâve been married for three years in December!
45. Weâve been together almost 8 years and we were going to Italy for another wedding and then to vacation after.
I had just graduated and was about to be hired, so it was pretty obvious to everyone that an engagement was coming including my GF, so when I went over to her dadâs house he knew what was up.
I made an excuse about going over my CV and stuff so I bought my laptop over and pretended I needed his help, but when I finally asked he was ready with some whisky and we took shots together so it went pretty well.
46. I asked and his reply was, âItâs your funeral.â
47. My dad already knew what my husband was coming to talk to my dad about. He wanted to bring my dad a burrito (because my dad loooooves burritos), but he was dieting at the time, so he brought my dad some Fireball instead. The first part of the conversation went as follows
Husband:Â sets a bottle of Fireball down on the counter.
Dad: Whyâd you bring that? Are you trying to get me drunk?
Husband: If you think itâll helpâŚ
48. My (now) wifeâs father was dead so I couldnât have the talk with him. I did have the talk with her three kids. I had been dating her, long distance, for a couple of years and would try to visit once every month or two. They knew me. They were 12-16 years old too so they werenât little kids and weâd spent quite a bit of time hanging out, working projects, going on adventure, etc. I took them all aside and told them that I wanted to marry their mother but I wanted their blessing. They were all three very happy, gave their blessing, and have been a blessing every day in my life. I wasnât surprised, though. Iâd been in their world for a few years already and had moved past the âcool visiting guyâ phase to the sometimes grumpy âmomâs cool boyfriendâ that get territorial over counter space in the bathroom, who used up my cologne, are those my socks, etc.
49. My girlfriend, her parents and I were spending the time between Christmas and New Years at her parentâs cottage. I was finishing up at university and my girlfriend was in graduate school. After lunch one day, my girlfriend went to her room for a nap and I was playing backgammon with her father (he kicks my ass). While building a wood fire in the fireplace during the game, I ask for his permission and heâs stunned â as if I broke the machine, and he totally freezes up. It was awkward at first, but then my girlfriend decides to skip her nap and joins us. She sees her Dad all confused and asks what we were talking about. Super awkward â I lied and told her I was thanking him yet again for buying me winter gear for the trip to the cottage (I only had a leather coat as a poor uni student so the man goes out before Xmas and buys 3 winter jackets, a couple pairs of boots and snow pants that I could pick from so I could join in on the winter fun in the snow â seriously, heâs awesome). Girlfriend was still confused but moved onâŚ
Hours later after we all turn in for the night [I was sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms on the lowest level, everyone else was on the upper level], the silence is broken by her mother talking in a loud voice âWhat did you say? [pause] âNothing? Nothing?! You march down there and give him an answer NOW! How could you do that to the poor boy?!â About a minute later, thereâs a soft knock on my door and the poor man was shaking slightly in his boxers (could be because he didnât have time to put on his robe) and apologizes profusely and delivers an awkward, rambling speech welcoming me to the family and giving his blessing. My girlfriend (now wife) sleeps like a log and didnât her motherâs shout.
The Mother-in-Law deeply apologized to me in the morning for her husbandâs actions. Itâs been over 15 years now since that retreat and Iâve never seen my father-in-law shell-shocked like that since. What make it even funnier is that heâs a physically-powerful bulldog and a former basketball/football star (Iâm intimidated and Iâm well-built at 6â2, 210 lbs). His wife is a very tiny lady and usually quietâŚ
50. I asked him and he just laughed and was like âSureâ then pretty much in the same breath changed the subject and asked me if I needed any eggs. Pretty much one of my favorite memories of all time.