When you think about what turns you on, and what attracts you to other human beings, romantically and pragmatically — what comes to mind? While most people will automatically have their mind turn to the way someone laughs, or the colour of their eyes, there are those in life who do not focus on those components when choosing a partner.
No, for some, it is not about what resides on the outside, but rather, they find those they want to settle down with, and spend time with, based on their intelligence, and their mind. While most do consider intelligence something that aids in the pull to another human being, a group most often referred to as Sapiosexuals, find it to be the main point of sexual and soul connection. Intelligence for this group isn’t just a bonus, it is a necessity.
Here are 12 signs you may be a Sapiosexual, because it is so much more than liking someone who uses big words and has read Infinite Jest.
1. Intelligence, and deep conversation, inspires you and turns you on.
While most love a great conversation, you require it daily from the person you choose. When you hear someone talking about their thoughts, and the things that they question or know in life, you not only admire them, but you find yourself attracted to them on a level unlike any other.
2. Credentials don’t matter. When looking for potential partners, intelligence is always at the top of your list.
You dig deeper into human beings. If there isn’t much below the surface, you find yourself bored and uninterested. You can’t even fathom being with someone like that for the rest of your life. You crave intelligence, to you it is exciting, and it takes precedence over what someone does for a living, or how much money they have.
3. You love debating.
If someone challenges you to a debate, you find yourself drawn to them on a deeper level. In them, you discover a counterpart who will always expand your mind, and who doesn’t shy away from using their knowledge to test or entice you. You don’t find these kinds of people stubborn or pretentious, either. You admire their eagerness, and their thirst for smart conversation.
4. Physical attraction is great, but conversation is better.
Yes, you need to be physically attracted to someone in order to be with them. However, if they are simply just a pretty face, you tire easily. To you, conversation is key, and no matter how attractive someone is, if they cannot hold one, and if they cannot deepen your knowledge, they aren’t worth your time.
5. The more you get to know someone, the more attracted to them you are.
While most people often find themselves enthralled with other right away, you ease into relationships and attractions. For you, you always discover a diamond in the rough — someone who may not initially be the shiniest person in the room, but who holds within them depth and a thirst for life the more and more you dig into who they are. When you slowly discover someone’s wit, someone smarts, their emotional intelligence, the way they speak, the way they resolve conflicts, your attraction to them grows. You are slow and steady.
6. You hate small talk.
You feel physically uncomfortable when someone cannot hold a deep conversation with you. Small talk is a thing of nightmares, and you would much rather sit in silence than have to answer to someone’s comments on the weather. You admire those who use their intelligence to carry conversations forward, to expand on ideas and ask questions that fuel speaking points.
7. You are extremely turned off by foolishness or brutism.
You cannot stand those who need to assert themselves through aggression or over the top gestures. You have no tolerance for men or women who are foolish,and who unravel easily. You find it attractive when someone can meet difficult situations with poise, and with intellect. You admire those who can rationalize their feelings, and who do not explode or fly off the handle, whenever things go wrong.
8. You would much rather meet someone in a bookstore than a bar.
You don’t go to bars to meet people. Nothing is attractive about screaming your name to someone you met three minutes ago on the dance floor. Instead, your dream date, or your dream introduction, would occur within a bookstore or at a documentary screening. For you, this is where you will find an intellectual counterpart, because they are environments that will inspire meaningful conversation.
9. You are an incredible listener.
You love when people can teach you things, and this has caused you to hone your listening skills. You admire when those you care for are able to go on about something they learned, or something they find fascinating. Not only does this expand your mind, and connect with your value of conversation, but seeing someone so passionate about knowledge, and so capable of articulating it, makes you bubble over with admiration. You have no problem sitting still and listening to them for hours.
10. Bad grammar is one of your biggest turn offs.
If you start to talk to someone, and they text you things like “Hey what r u doing?” or use short forms, you cannot stand it. You are automatically turned off, and you cannot continue talking to them any longer.
11. It’s not just about book smarts for you.
While most would think that being attracted to intelligence in others refers to their knowledge of topics that are tangible, that’s not the only kind of intelligence that draws you to someone. Instead, you also find emotional intelligence, and self-awareness incredibly sexy. You love when someone is in tune with their feelings, and you admire those who can rationalize and work through situations using their mind. You find that kind of maturity enticing.
12. You are always looking to learn.
The thought of sitting at home watching documentaries on the Universe and things you are still learning about, is ideal to you. You absolutely love anything that expands your mind, and you crave opportunities that provide you the ability to learn and grow. You seek out people who you find smarter, because you would like to learn from them. You go to panels and lectures on topics you aren’t well-versed in because you see them as a challenge, and you enjoy educating yourself on new things. If someone you care for does not share this intellectual thirst with you, you find yourself losing interest quickly.