1. You spend a lot of time alone, together.

This is the most uniquely defining aspect of a relationship between two old souls: you’re both in your own heads so much that you notice you begin to spend a lot of your time together, but concentrated on separate things. This is a marker of being truly comfortable with one another.

2. After getting together, one or both of you has a serious emotional awakening, which on the surface seems like a “breakdown.”

The thing that people rarely realize about old soul relationships is that your partner will not just bring you love and romance, they will help you recognize the parts of your life that aren’t where you want them to be. When you’re finally with someone who makes you feel truly supported, you can let yourself feel repressed emotions. This healing may seem unpleasant on the surface, but it is more like a purging than anything else.

3. You don’t ever want to be apart from each other, but you are still capable of having a life outside of them.

Rather than being dependent on them, you spend the majority of your time with them because you want to. You savor the parts of your life that are still distinctly yours, but have no problem with merging your days as much as you can.

4. Your unresolved emotional issues begin to resurface.

Old souls are people who have had more growth-inducing experiences in their lives. When they get into relationships that require them to once again be vulnerable, old problems that were never really resolved are bound to come up again.

5. You’re both idealists, and used to being the one to have the last word. This is something you have to reconcile.

Old souls tend to be particular about what they like, and are generally used to being seen as the smartest or wisest one in the room. This becomes challenged when they’re with someone who is just as respected. But it’s all for the best: reconciling the fact that you sometimes have to defer to someone else helps to reduce your ego.

6. You immediately feel like family to one another.

In other relationships, there was maybe some discomfort or a desire to “impress” the person, or the feeling as though they weren’t truly on your side. In this relationship, you are so comfortable with one another, you feel as strongly and deeply for them as you do your family members.

7. You do not feel like you have to “earn” the other person’s love.

Whereas in past relationships, it felt like you needed to convince someone to commit to you, this time around, you feel seen and accepted for who you really are. They love your body as it is, they love staying in with you on a Friday night, they laugh at all your stupid jokes and find your quirks endearing. You don’t feel like you have to change who you are to be worthy of them.

8. You get along so well it feels like you’ve known one another before.

It is almost unbelievable how immediately the two of you “click.”

9. Even if you don’t have a ton in common, you still feel like the same person.

You could have totally different interests and come from opposite upbringings, but at the same time, you completely understand one another, and feel as though you’re extensions of the other. You have similar points of view and beliefs, and even when you disagree on something, you can understand where the other person is coming from.

10. The circumstances that led to you two meeting seem serendipitous.

You look back at the way you met and it seems unbelievable that two people so right for each other would just happen to cross paths one day.

11. You realize that you have a lot to learn from each other.

The interesting thing about two old souls is that for as alike as you are, you bring opposite life experiences and perspectives to the relationship. This is so you can learn from one another, and provide insight that will help you round into more fully developed individuals.

12. Your paradoxical traits become more evident.

A lot of old souls struggle with issues of indecision or “fence sitting,” wherein they are able to see both sides of a situation, and have a hard time choosing one or another. It’s traits like these that become more evident when you’re with another old soul who can call you out on them.

13. You are humbled, you begin to really understand how little the material matters.

Before you found your partner, you wanted to be more successful or attractive to prove your lovability. Now that you’re with someone who wants to be with you just for the sake of it, you realize the ways in which those pursuits were misaligned with who you really are and what you really want.

14. Though you’re both mature individuals, you help each other revert back to childlike joy.

The ironic thing is that the more time you spend together, the sillier and more carefree you will become. It’s as though together you hit the maturity apex, and realize that all there is to do in life is let go and have fun with each other every day.

15. You have to be mindful about maintaining your individuality.

Merging with a fellow old soul can feel so comforting and lovely that you lose yourself a bit. This will feel immediately uncomfortable to you, and you will have to begin the work of finding yourself once again. This is normal.

16. You are truly best friends and partners, and you’re capable of being all of these things to one another because you worked so hard on yourselves beforehand.

Before meeting your fellow old soul partner, you thought that people who said they “married their best friends” were just saying that – now you know what it really means. You are this person’s confidante and lover, you are their family and their partner.

17. You are both growth-oriented individuals, and your relationship reflects that.

You are always looking for ways to improve yourselves, your lives, or your relationship together. This ensures that neither of you will become complacent, but you do also have to watch to make sure that it doesn’t turn into being overly critical or ungrateful for what you do have in the moment.