19 Differences Between Female Friendships In Your Early 20s And In Your Late 20s

Parks & Recreation
Parks & Recreation

1. Obsessiveness levels

Early 20s: A best friend is literally the person we want to hang out with every moment of every day. Obsession levels are at maximum capacity.
Late 20s: We are obsessed with each other if we make time to hang out once a week. Obsession levels are balanced with all the other shit we have to do.

2. What we tell each other

Early 20s: Oh, we are straight up discussing every intimate detail of our lives. TMI is not a consideration here.
Late 20s: Yeah, not much changes here. TMI still not a consideration.

3. Analyzation skills

Early 20s: We will spend hours and hours decoding text messages, body language, what he said, what she said, and it will generally be a complete joy to do so.
Late 20s: He/she said what? Oh, here’s exactly what that means. What are you going to do about it? Great, do that. (Getting older and wiser is such a time-saver!)

4. Talking behind each other’s backs

Early 20s: This is nasty gossip that we don’t yet know is completely toxic to ourselves and our friendships. It’s such an ingrained part of our lives that we haven’t grown uncomfortable with this kind of talk yet.
Late 20s: We discuss people, only to understand them more. It might be mean-spirited sometimes because we are only human, but, for the most part, we check ourselves before our conversations center around bashing another human.

5. Competitiveness

Early 20s: As much as we try not to be, we’re still struggling to come into our own, so the envy game can be particularly strong here.
Late 20s: If we’re not celebrating each other’s successes, we shouldn’t be friends.

6. Hanging out

Early 20s: All day every day, anytime we’re free, all the time, always. (Because bed time is never, sleep when we’re dead…)
Late 20s: For a happy hour! (Because bed time is 10pm, sleep when we’re right now…)

7. Amount of friends

Early 20s: We act like we’re collecting friends for a friend apocalypse.
Late 20s: We guard our free time ferociously, so lesser is more when it comes to our friends.

8. Importance of the bond

Early 20s: We don’t quite know yet to truly appreciate supportive, kind, thoughtful, and compassionate friends. It’s not exactly clear to us that it’s rare to find these people.
Late 20s: If a friend is still around in our late 20s, she is going to be there for life, basically. She’s our rock, our soul mate, and she will be there for us at any moment we need her, as we will be with her. (THIS IS AN UNBREAKABLE BOND, YO.)

9. Being judgmental

Early 20s: We’re still trying to figure out who we are, so being judgmental is common and, while it’s not awesome to do this, it’s understandable why it happens.
Late 20s: If being overly conscious of judging each other’s choices were an Olympic sport, we’d have, like, 10 gold medals at this point.

10. Topics of conversation

Early 20s: LOVE LIFE. OTHER FRIENDS. WEEKEND PLANS. WTF DOES THIS TEXT MEAN??????????
Late 20s: Our future desires. Our spiritual beliefs. Our jobs. Our friends. When we want to meet at the Farmer’s Market on Sunday. (Too cliché?)

11. Significant others

Early 20s: Ughhhhhh, third wheel status forever. I just want to hang out with my best friend, why’s this other person gotta kill our vibe?
Late 20s: Third wheel but in a good way, because what are we doing that we don’t enjoy each other’s partners as friends?

12. Drinking together

Early 20s: Did we drink an entire bottle of vodka last night? Who did I make out with? Where are we? Where are my pants? BEST NIGHT EVER.
Late 20s: Did we drink an entire bottle of wine each last night? Why don’t I have a hangover? No hangover!!!!!!!! BEST NIGHT EVER.

13. Friday night plans

Early 20s: [Friday morning] There’s a few parties we should check out, but let’s just play it by ear and see where the night takes us.
Late 20s: [Friday morning… a week ago] Can you do dinner in a week? Great, let’s do that!

14. Usage of the term “best friend”

Early 20s: Could be used for our actual best friend who we spend time with all the time. Could be used for a person we just met in the bathroom at a party. There’s really no telling who this term applies to and what the significance is.
Late 20s: 3 is the maximum amount of people in our lives at any given time who are given this sacred term. We don’t call just anyone a “best friend” and will give that title out ceremoniously, as if we are knighting you as our best friend.

15. Vacations together

Early 20s: Mexico, Vegas, pretty much anywhere we can be in swimsuits and drink ample amounts of alcohol and “woo!!!!!” for five days straight.
Late 20s: Let’s go to a beautiful airbnb somewhere calm, cook delicious food, drink wine, read books, and day drink like respectable people.

16. Birthday celebrations

Early 20s: The craziest, most special time ever! If there is one thing that early 20s friends really kill at, it’s the birthday celebration department.
Late 20s: We will take you out to a fancy dinner and get home at a decent hour or we will go completely balls to the wall and dance until 5am with you, whatever you want to do girl, it’s your day.

17. Boundaries

Early 20s: Boundaries?! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA none.
Late 20s: The most minimal amount of boundaries in regards to significant others and family, but otherwise, boundaries are pretty much nonexistent.

18. Conflict resolution

Early 20s: If we are having an issue, we will talk to everyone about it, except, of course, the person we are having an issue with.
Late 20s: “Getting a vibe that you’re mad… what’s up?” is what we’re going to text our friend if we think she’s holding out on us about why she’s upset.

19. Primary emoji used in texts

Early 20s: Dancing ladies in black leotards. Obviously.
dancing-crop
Late 20s: Dancing ladies in black leotards. Double obviously. TC mark

Jamie Varon

Writer • Hit me up: Twitter & Facebook

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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