1. If you tell your friend that you guys should really watch a movie and then you two watch that movie together, you are on-edge the entire time –practically in a panic– about whether you just highly recommended a movie they may or may not be enjoying and it is the most stressful two hours of your life. (They probably enjoyed it, too, but you? You blacked out from the stress of it all.)
2. If you have a big party, you will feel obligated to invite all of your friends, many of which are not within the same friend group and not knowing if they are getting along or mingling or even liking each other will straight up ruin that party for you.
3. So, you just don’t have parties.
4. Even if you bring one new person into an already-established friend group, you feel entirely responsible for how everyone is getting along and do they like this person, is everyone having a good time, should I be doing more? It’ll pretty much make you want to become a recluse.
5. If anyone is mad at you ever, even if it’s over the tiniest thing, it will grate on you for days and days and the sheer stress of it will drive you close to the brink of insanity.
6. The last thing a people pleaser ever wants is to make someone wait, so running late for something ranks up there with an impending tornado as among most stressful situations.
7. If you are taking longer in a checkout line for legitimate reasons, the stress of making random strangers behind you wait even an extra two minutes will cause you to quickly eschew your own preferences so that a bunch of strangers will not be mildly annoyed at you for a minute or so.
8. Actually, any situation in which waiting is involved and you could be the source of someone’s annoyance is like People Pleasing Jungle territory. It’s sticky and impossible to navigate and, no matter what, you’re going to end up upset.
9. Having to send food back because it was prepared incorrectly or has a mistake is 100% your version of an emotional Mount Everest. (That shit’s hard. What if the server dislikes you!??!?!?!?!?!?)
10. Speaking of restaurant etiquette, you will tip 20% at the very least no matter how the service was, because you cannot stand the possibility of anyone having ill-will directed toward you.
11. If you catch wind of someone disliking you, you will kiss ass and sprinkle the charm on them until they are forced to love you.
12. Making a mistake that impacts someone else’s life? Nope. No. Worst. Hate. Abort.
13. Any situation in which you cannot automatically defer to others to make the decisions will make you anxious. If you do have to make a decision on where to go for dinner or what kind of music to listen to in the car, you will pick exactly what you know your companions will want to eat or listen to. Sure, you’re a tiny bit of a pushover about this, but hopefully if you like these friends, you like what they like and you just know how to save yourself from a stressful dinner or car ride.
14. Cooking for people? Anxiety! So much goddamn anxiety. What if they dislike your food and then, by osmosis, dislike you?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
15. Planning a wedding in which you cannot afford to invite everyone? Just don’t get married. Just stop. Weddings are a people pleasers absolute nightmare. Where do you seat people? What if the people at the table don’t get along? IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT AND YOUR WEDDING WILL BE RUINED.
16. If you are tasked with the stress-bomb that is ordering lunch for your workplace, may the force be with you, friend. I’m sorry.
17. The fact that there are people out there who just do not worry about someone disliking them and can actually function while knowing someone dislikes them, is maybe the most stressful of all situations, because you know this sort of freedom is out there, somewhere, but it’s not for you to have. But hey, at least you have a lot of friends, because most people like you. Silver lining to people pleasing! You actually end up pleasing people. Yay?