10 Little Firsts In Relationships That Let You Know You’re With The Right Person

The first time you hang out together in silence and it’s super comfortable and they’re on their laptop next to you while you’re catching up on the latest episode of Parks & Rec and you’re just like, this is good, we’re good, and the fact that I don’t feel obligated to talk or entertain or come up with shit to talk about is my everything right now.

The first time you realize that, whoa, you like this person so much more than you ever liked anyone else before, even though they get on your nerves and make you absolutely insane and can get super moody — but you also realize that here in this moment, there’s no one else you’d rather fight with and that’s really cool.

The first time you are completely naked with each other and you don’t feel insecure even a little bit, you’re just like, well, here’s my body and there’s your body, let’s smush them together for a while in the middle of the day, not under the covers, just right in the sunlight, imperfections and whatever else and you’re all, wow, that’s freeing as fuck.

The first time you realize that you’re more yourself with this person than anyone else, even your best friend, which then sends you into an identity crisis, because this person has totally accepted you exactly as you are and you didn’t even realize it until you did that weird single person behavior in front of them and they shrugged it off and said, meh, wanna cook dinner?

The first time you tell them your biggest, darkest secret and they listen and kiss you on the cheek and say thank you for telling them and you’re all, wait, why was I so worried about telling them that? And you think, our relationship just got to a new level of deep because they know that part of me and still love me, maybe even they love me more after knowing and that’s pretty awesome.

The first time you spend a week apart and you are so happy that you miss them, but the very act of missing them isn’t ruining your life like it has with other people and you’re all, healthy relationship achievement unlocked! And then you see them after a week and you have the kind of sex you can only have after realizing you’re in a really healthy, loving relationship with someone you can’t wait to get home to ravage.

The first time you look at them and think, if I was going to promise something as crazy as forever, I’d promise it with you, and you’re like, wow, I get how people decide to get married, because this person actually makes me believe in that forever kind of love that people have been writing sappy poetry about for ages.

The first time you realize that you know this person so well it’s almost as if they are an extension of you, like you know exactly what they’ll order at any restaurant, how they’ll most likely respond to any of your questions, and what their daily routine is. It would be super fucking creepy if it wasn’t actually so adorable.

The first time you’re tempted by someone else, and they’re very good looking, but then you realize that what you have is once in a lifetime and you wouldn’t dare waste that and, while it takes some serious effort and self-control, you put all that energy into making your relationship better — and lo and behold, it does get better. Self win!

The first time you realize that you are with someone that loves you as much as you love them, and you’re all, holy shit, that’s never happened before and you point that out to your significant other and you both high-five and order a pizza. TC mark

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Jamie Varon

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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

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