1. After we grew up, bedtimes became recommendations. We had to live with our parents strict eye on the watch, sending us away to bed the very second of our official bedtime. Our siblings basically get to stay up watching TV until freaking 3am if they want.
2. Seeing our siblings get permission for their friends to come over with zero effort. Back in our day, we had to launch a three-day negotiation to have a friend spend the night. Nowadays, the home is basically a halfway house to whoever our little siblings want over.
3. Being expected to have the repair skills of a mechanical engineer. The television isn’t working? The Xbox is broken? If anything technology-related goes wrong, we are expected to have the answer, cuz we’re “the oldest.” Nevermind that we have no clue either!
4. And the parents will never ask the younger sibling learn “fix-it” skills, cuz we can just figure it out…4eva 🙃
5. ALSO, parents just assume we can help with homework. Oh, little brother is having problems with Algebra? Surely, we can do it right?? (we can’t). And whenever we dare suggest that maybe mom or dad could help, they just remind us that we’ve been in school more recently than them.
6. Watching our siblings walk around with iPhones and stuff that our parents ABSOLUTELY would have never given us when we were that age.
7. Getting assigned the most random, useless chores while our young brothers and sisters sit around and do nothing.
8. Essentially acting as a third parent (or unpaid babysitter) without any of the parental authority or perks:
“Hey!” Mom says with one foot out the door. “You’re okay to cancel all of your fun plans tonight and watch your siblings, right? kthxbai!” 🙃
9. And then if our siblings do something bad under our watch, it’s somehow our fault, because we dared to turn on the television or go to sleep.
10. But our younger siblings can get away with basically anything, cuz they don’t “know better” yet. (I think they’ll be like 49 and still not “know better yet” tbh).
11. Getting forgotten when it comes to dinner or fun plans out because we were busy studying or working at our part time job.
12. How parents eventually stop buying stuff for us, because we have said part-time job and can surely, “afford it yourself now!”
13. Getting frustrated about how our siblings are allowed to basically eat a whole dessert truck everyday, yet don’t appear any less healthy than we do.
14. And watching our siblings get away with stuff that there’s no way we would have.
15. Like, when’s the last time mom or dad made our siblings clean their room? Probably years.
16. Just saying: if we talked to mom or dad like that we would have been grounded before our mouth enunciated the last syllable.
17. Slowly watching our possessions get re-gifted to our siblings, sometimes (usually) without our permission.
18. Like, we go off to college and suddenly our younger sister has our clothes, video games, and maybe even our freaking room.
19. And because we were first, the expectations heaped on us are basically insane. Like, we could colonize the moon while our youngest sibling just manages to roll out of bed and we all KNOW who would walk away with the praise.
20. And yeah, we might have got a used car when we turned 16, but we suddenly became public transit for all our younger siblings.
21. Like, I’m pretty sure our parents forgot how to drive.
22. Our parents also can’t quit asking us when we are going to get married and have kids.
23. But they don’t ask our younger siblings, because they have time.
24. But it’s all worth it, because being the oldest does mean we are the best.