I never thought that I would heal from the time you broke my heart. I never thought that I would find the right combination of closure, and peace to fully move-on, and I thought that I would be stuck in the cycle of your love forever. I thought that my mind and soul would always be trapped in the devastation of our love failing I thought that I would keep dreaming of your return and that I would never find a way to escape. the tight grasp that your love gave me. I never thought that I would find the courage to put myself out there again. I never thought I would believe in good love again. I never thought that I would actually find the strength of the fire held deep within my bones to tread forward.
See the thing is though, I’m ready to leave behind the love that broke me.
I’m ready to leave behind the lying, the endless chase for something that wasn’t there. I’m ready to leave behind your inability to see love clearly, and for your need to disguise it as something it never was. For the first time, I actually feel ready to take a step into the dark and to remember what it feels like to fall in love again. I’m ready to move on from the stories that you never finished, and the love that you never gave. I’m ready to leave behind the love that broke me.
I’m ready to search for the ones who want to stay late into the night hours when the world gets dark, and life doesn’t make sense. I”m ready for a love that helps me to heal, that helps me to see things that I’ve never seen before, I’m ready for new love. I am ready to dive into a world of self-acceptance, and awareness because I’m tired of playing the victim. I’m ready to change. I’m ready to step into the unknown to find opportunities that are waiting for me.
I’m ready to finally decide that I am worthy of good love, and I’m ready for a love that stays. I am ready to stop replaying the scenes of our beginning, and our ending, and I’m just ready to let go. I’m ready to not think about it anymore, and I’m ready to accept it all. I’m ready to accept that it wasn’t the relationship for me and that it wasn’t meant to last. I’m ready to transfer all of the energy I have put into thinking about you for months, and transfer them to me. I”m ready to leave you behind, and find myself instead.
I’m ready for all of it.
I’m ready to take everything that I’ve learned and change the way that I think about relationships. I’m ready to do the work, and put in the hours of healing so that I can be the best partner I can be. I’m ready to look back on our memories, and just see them as memories. I’m ready to stop looking at our relationship as a failure, or a missed step, but just to see it as two people who tried. I’m ready to not be angry anymore, and I’m ready to forgive you. I’m ready to accept that there are other people for you and that there are other people for me. I’m ready to finally realize that life isn’t always a fairytale, and sometimes it’s really dark and scary, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t beautiful. I’m ready to trust that love can be beautiful for me again.
Ultimately, I’m terrified to let go. I’m terrified to not think about the way that you loved me or the way that you held me, but I’m ready to move. I’m ready to grow, and I’m ready to keep walking forward even if I have no idea where I’m going. I’m ready to find love that is whole, and safe, and the kind that is meant for me.
I’m ready to leave behind the love that broke me,
And find new love instead.