I have often looked back to that day, and thought if I was different, would we have worked? If I would have been skinnier, had longer hair, or pursued my dreams more fearlessly, would you have stayed?
I think that if I had just had a different taste in music, or a different way of communicating then something would have changed.
I think that if all of these things combined, then maybe, just maybe, your love would have changed.
If I would have been prettier, smarter, or more of something, then maybe your temporary could have been forever.
There is danger in thinking that I could have changed your outcome. There is danger in thinking that if I had just “held myself together more”, that you would have stayed. There is danger in thinking that it was under my control and that I could have altered the plans you already had.
Truthfully, there is nothing I could have done to convince you to stay with me.
I could have been exactly what you were looking for, and you still would have left.
There isn’t a combination of words or personality traits, I could have adopted that would have changed your path. I could have been the best version of myself, I could have been everything that I knew how to be, and you still would have gone, simply because you were never planning on forever.
Your words may have said otherwise, but your love never matched your words.
Your love was temporary, just meant for a season.
I couldn’t have said I love you more times, I couldn’t have confronted the conflict, I couldn’t have done anything to solve the mindset that you were already in and the choices you had already made.
You were a temporary love, and you had a temporary love mindset.
You never intended to take on the whole span of life with me or to adventure into the unknown.
I couldn’t force forever on a temporary love.
I couldn’t have been more of something to change your path, I couldn’t have persuaded you to choose me over her, because you were just a temporary love.