Why You Miss Your Almosts More Than Your Actual Exes

You might miss your almost more than actual exes because you never had the chance to get to know your almost intimately. You’ve only seen the best sides of them. You’ve experienced the fun, flirtatious moments without any of the bad, brutal ones. You weren’t with them long enough to have fights with them, to see them at their meanest, to cause deep cracks that ruined your image of them.

Even though having an almost can be exhausting after a while, it can also be fun and exciting, filled with possibility. You’re always wondering what’s going to come next, what it will be like when you turn into an official couple. Since that never happened, since you never became official, it feels like you missed out. Like you weren’t given enough time together. Like you didn’t have a chance to connect as much as you hoped.

Meanwhile, you experienced what it was like to date your exes firsthand. You saw them in good moods and bad moods. You learned what it was like to kiss their lips and feel their breath against your cheek at night. Even though you might miss what you used to have with them, it’s easy to miss the unknown even more. After all, you never even got a chance to reach certain milestones with your almost. Instead, you had a picture in your head of what it might be like to kiss them and go on cute dates with them – and you assumed it would be magical.

It makes sense to miss that perfect, imaginary relationship more than you miss your real relationships that didn’t end up working in the end. After all, you know for a fact that your exes aren’t right for you. That’s why you broke up. That’s why they’re no longer in your life. But your almost left before you had a chance to test whether or not you were really compatible. They left before you were able to tell them how much they meant to you.

Plus, it’s not like your almost was a complete stranger. You were close enough to develop real feelings. You were close enough to get attached. You don’t have to date someone in order to fall in love with someone. The feelings you have for them are valid, even if you weren’t a couple. You still shared special moments together. You still had a deep connection, whether or not it was official acknowledged.

You might miss your almost more than your exes because your exes gave you closure. You knew why they were walking away – but almosts aren’t always as transparent. Since you weren’t a couple, they might walk away without an explanation. And you might feel uncomfortable asking for an explanation. Most of the time, almosts leave you lost and confused. You aren’t sure whether you imagined the flirting in your head, if you were wrong about their feelings from the start, or if something caused them to lose interest in you. When an almost leaves, the questions are endless.

Sometimes, it can feel worse than losing an ex because you never got a chance to do so many things you were excited to do. You feel like you only got half of their heart.