Moving in with your person is a huge step. However, sometimes you won’t know whether your person is a good (or horrible) teammate until you’re sharing the same bed and bathroom. Although change is never easy, here are some signs that the person you’re living with isn’t treating you the way you deserve:
They refuse to tackle their fair share of the chores.
They expect you to cook and clean up after them. They don’t contribute anything to the household, leaving you to take care of every single chore that needs to get done. And when the place is a mess, they have the audacity to blame you. They act like you’re their caretaker when you’re really supposed to be one half of a functioning team.
They don’t respect your space.
They won’t leave you alone, even when you’ve made it clear that you need some time to yourself. They bother you when you’ve made it clear you need to work on your computer or study. They cross boundaries that make it hard for you to take care of all of your responsibilities. Even though you’re living together, that doesn’t mean that you need to spend every waking moment together – but they don’t seem to grasp that fact.
They don’t respect your belongings.
They go through your stuff without asking. They eat the leftovers you were saving. They throw out things that don’t belong to them. They might even go through your phone or your mail or your journals without permission. Basically, you can’t trust them to keep their hands off your stuff. There’s always a chance they’ll be snooping through your belongings, or tossing them around without caring about whether they break. They don’t respect the things that you value the most.
They don’t involve you in decisions.
They invite over friends and family members without checking with you first. They allow strangers to sleep on your couch and plan parties without making sure that you’re okay with the idea. Basically, they make decisions that impact the both of you without checking with you first. They still act like they’re living alone when there are two people in the house. Two people who are supposed to be working together.
They don’t care about your schedule.
It can be hard to adjust when you’re living with someone new for the first time. However, they should respect you enough to tweak their schedule when it’s making life harder for you. They shouldn’t be playing their drums or guitar at midnight when you need to be in bed for an early shift the next morning. They shouldn’t be making a ton of noise in the morning when you worked late and need to sleep in. They should take your feelings into account.
They refuse to compromise.
They want their couch, their bed, and their paintings in the house. They won’t even consider your own personal taste. They want everything to stay the way they like it. They’re acting like they’re the one in charge of decorating and refuse to listen to your opinion even when you’re passionate about it. They don’t want to compromise even the tiniest bit. It’s their way or the highway.
