I Don’t Believe In Soulmates, I Do Believe In Us

Fate bringing two people together is a nice thought, but it’s not the truth. At least, I don’t want to believe that it is. I want to believe that we’re the reason why our relationship has lasted so long. That your ridiculous puns are the reason why I laugh even when I want to cry, and that my daily “I love yous” are the reason why you hug me so tightly and kiss me so tenderly.

I’m not going to give the universe credit for our hard work. That was all us. The compromises we made after major fights, the inside jokes we created after becoming best friends, and the decision we made to commit after realizing we wanted to be together forever. It wasn’t fate. It was hard work and determination and—most of all—love.

I don’t know, maybe it was destiny that caused us to meet. That you and I crossed paths in a world overflowing with other people to pursue. But our relationship would never have lasted this long without our full and complete commitment. So even if it was fate that brought us together, it wasn’t fate that made us stay together. That was us.

Some people say that the idea of soul mates is romantic, that it’s reassuring to know there’s someone out there built for loving them, but I don’t see it. Isn’t free will, finding someone that you decide to care for and love and trust, better than being karmically forced to date someone? Isn’t our love story the more romantic one, because it’s what we want as opposed to what the universe thinks is best for us?

Say what you want, but we’re in control of our lives. That shouldn’t be a terrifying thought. We shouldn’t want destiny to control our relationships so we can sit back, relax, and blame the fates whenever something goes wrong with our love lives. It’s time to start taking responsibility when things go south and start patting ourselves on the back when things go right.

I don’t believe that we’re meant to stay together forever, because of the way the stars aligned or because some godly creature commanded it. But I do think we can last a lifetime if we continue to love each other the way we have been, without judgment or restraint. That’s what will keep our relationships strong. Not fate.