How To Tell Whether You're With Your Forever Person -- Or Whether You're Only Settling

How To Tell Whether You’re With Your Forever Person — Or Whether You’re Only Settling

You’re settling when your unhappiness has lasted too long to call a rut, when you start considering screaming matches normal, when you start assuming every relationship goes sour once a couple is together long enough.

You’re settling when you stop yourself from telling friends what’s the matter because you know they would tell you to break up with your person if they heard the truth. You know this because you would say the same exact thing if a friend was feeling the way you’ve been feeling.

You’re settling when you aren’t serious about forever, when you keep your eyes open for other options, when you keep resisting taking the next step forward because you aren’t sure whether you’re with the right person or not.

You’re settling when you come up with the most ridiculous excuses to stay, when you tell yourself you can’t leave because you share a HULU account, because your family loves them, because you’re obsessed with their dog and don’t want to stop visiting.

You’re settling when breakups make you jealous. When you look at other girls who walked away from their relationships and wish you were as brave as them, wish you had their courage, wish you could do what they have done.

You’re settling when you start questioning whether true love is a lie, whether soulmates actually exist, whether forever is a real possibility.

You’re settling when you compare your person to everyone else who passes, unsure whether you made the right decision, whether you got into the wrong relationship with the wrong person at the wrong time in your life.

You’re settling when you feel lonely around them, when you feel like you can’t talk to them about anything, when you feel awkward and misunderstood.

You’re settling when you’re happier to spend the weekend alone than to spend it with your person, when you come up with excuses about work to avoid seeing them, when you keep a strong distance between you.

You’re settling when all they do is cause you stress and confusion, when you are tired of the drama they bring you, when you feel like it would be easier to live without them than to live with them.

You’re settling when there isn’t an ounce of chemistry, when you get more of a rush from someone else, anyone else, than the person who is supposed to be your forever.

You’re settling when you cannot come up with good, solid reasons why you love them, when you’re only dating them because you aren’t interested in being single again.

You’re settling when you feel like something is missing, when you aren’t sure exactly why you’re unhappy with your relationship but know it’s not supposed to feel this way.

You’re settling when you aren’t the least bit excited to see them, to kiss them, to spend a lifetime with them.

You’re settling when you start asking yourself whether you’re settling, whether you’re where you’re meant to be, whether you’re authentically happy or only playing a part. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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