1. You need to ask yourself what you want. Not what is easiest. It’s going to be tempting to take the path of least resistance. That way, you won’t have to struggle. You won’t have to worry. You won’t have to put yourself through extra stress. However, the most comfortable path isn’t always the right path. You need to make sure you’re making your decision based on what will make you happiest in the long-term, not what is easiest in the short-term.

2. You need to ask yourself what you want. Not what the people around you want. It’s hard not to be influenced by the people around you. Your family and friends care about you. They want what’s best for you. Even if they don’t come right out and share their opinion, you probably know where they stand. You probably know what they want from you — and you don’t want to let them down. You want to make them proud. However, this is your life. Not theirs. You need to make this decision based on what you really want, not on what you think will impress the people who care about you.

3. You need to ask yourself what you want. Not what you wish you wanted. You might love the idea of a person or a place or a career path, but the reality might be completely different. You might not actually want what society is telling you to want, what social media is encouraging you to want, what everyone around you is convincing you to want. Even though you might really want to live a certain type of life, that’s not what you should do if it isn’t what makes you truly happy.

4. You need to ask yourself what you want. Not what makes the most sense on paper. Life is messy and emotions are complex. They don’t always make sense. You can write out a pros and cons list to try to figure out which path to walk down next, but that might not actually help you. Hearts are illogical. They want what they want. The life that looks the most appealing on paper might not be a life that will realistically be able to bring you joy. You need to make that decision for yourself.

5. You need to ask yourself what you want. Not what you used to want. You’re bound to change as you age. You’re not going to want the same exact things you did when you were younger — and that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel guilty about the fact you have everything you used to want and still aren’t happy. You should chase after what your heart wants now, not what it wanted when you were younger.

6. You need to ask yourself what you want. Not what others expect from you. Sometimes, your actions are going to hurt other people. Sometimes, you’re going to end up causing pain. Although you might want to avoid hurting others by whatever means necessary, you can’t sacrifice your own happiness in order to make someone else happy. You need to do what is best for yourself, even if it feels selfish.