Stop putting so much energy into trying to change a toxic human because they aren’t going to better themselves. They aren’t going to agree to do some soul searching and come out stronger. They aren’t going to give you what you want.
Although you have a soft heart and a tendency to see the good in others, you shouldn’t put too much effort into a toxic person. You might feel like you’re doing the right thing by giving them a second chance, by allowing them to set things right and prove themselves, but you’re probably going to get hurt in the end. Your kindness is probably going to backfire on you.
Toxic humans aren’t going to appreciate the effort you put into the relationship — and they aren’t going to match it. They aren’t going to wake up one morning, suddenly realize how much you do for them, and decided they need to treat you better so they don’t lose you. Sure, they might change their tune for a few days to stop you from leaving, but there isn’t going to be a permanent change. They aren’t going to turn into a new person. They aren’t going to decide the relationship should be fifty-fifty from now on.
Toxic humans only care about themselves — and what you can do for them. They aren’t going to feel bad about taking advantage of you because they feel like they deserve all the effort you’ve been putting into the relationship. However, they won’t put in any of their own. They won’t return the favor. They won’t rise to meet your expectations.
Stop trying so hard to change toxic humans because you are powerless when it comes to their choices. You can’t make them see reason. You can’t convince them you’re worthy of their time, trust, effort, and attention. It doesn’t matter how much you do for them. It doesn’t matter how much you love them. They aren’t going to look at your relationship logically. They aren’t going to care about what they’ve been putting you through.
Instead of changing themselves, they are going to try to change you. They are going to convince you to accept less than you deserve. They are going to wear you down until you stop nagging them to better themselves. They are going to make you feel like you couldn’t do any better than them. They are going to cross their fingers that you’ll settle.
Stop trying to change toxic humans because it’s not your responsibility to teach someone how to treat you right. You should date someone who shows you respect from the start, someone who would never dream of hurting you, someone who understands your worth.
Please, don’t waste your time on toxic humans. Don’t put all of your energy into trying to change them. Chances are, they are going to disappoint you. Even if they surprise you by turning their attitude around, do you really want to be with someone who once manipulated and lied to you? Do you really want to settle for someone so hurtful?