Just Because Your Toxic Relationship Is Over Doesn't Mean The Pain Ends

Just Because Your Toxic Relationship Is Over Doesn’t Mean The Pain Ends

When you leave a toxic relationship, the bad shit you’ve been through isn’t going to magically disappear. You’re still going to have moments when you feel insecure, when you feel uncertain, when you feel lost and alone.

Unfortunately, even once you’re out of a bad situation, the bad memories are going to remain. You’re always going to remember what a toxic person put you through. You’re always going to remember the fear you felt, the pain you experienced, the heartache you mistook for the norm.  

Leaving isn’t the end of your journey. It’s only the beginning. It’s the first step to creating a more fulfilling life. The kind of life you deserve.

Once you walk away from your toxic relationship, you need to take the love yo used to pour into that person and start pouring it into yourself. You need to make a promise to work on your bad habits, to unpack your baggage, to figure out how to feel okay again.

The thing about toxic relationships is that you’re not going to leave them the same way you entered them. You’re not going to be the same carefree, fun-loving person. You’re going to be less trusting, less adventurous, less open. 

You’re going to be cautious in every new relationship because you never want to repeat history. You never want to deal with someone toxic again.

While it can be a good thing to keep a lookout for red flags, you don’t want to become too paranoid. You don’t want to turn into too much of a cynic. You don’t want your past experiences to get in the way of a beautiful future.

You have to be careful with your heart because once you leave a toxic relationship, the pain lingers. The fear lingers. That’s why you need to visit a therapist. You need to practice self-care. You need to put constant effort into loving yourself, into taking good care of yourself, because it will be all too easy to slip back into the mindset you had when you were in a toxic relationship — and you don’t want to revisit that space. You don’t want to go back to square one. 

When you leave a toxic relationship, you have to remember that healing isn’t going to be easy. You’re not going to forget about what happened in a matter of months, so stop putting so much pressure on yourself to move on. It’s normal to need some time. It’s normal to unravel for a while.

Even after you feel whole again, after you feel like you’ve put the past in the past, there are still going to be setback days. There are going to be moments when you remember what you went through and melt down. But you’ll get back up again. You’ll get through it all.

Just remember, even though your toxic relationship is over, it doesn’t mean the pain ends. You need to be careful moving forward. You need to put effort into taking good care of yourself. Before you do anything else, you need to make sure you’re okay. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Holly Riordan

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.