Sometimes, especially when you’re in the process of healing from a past heartache, keeping your walls up is actually a good idea. You don’t want to jump into a new relationship too quickly, before you have the time to process what happened to you, before you have the time to deal with your baggage, before you have the time to adjust your standards accordingly.
Sometimes, especially when you’ve been stuck in a toxic relationship recently, keeping your walls up is actually a good idea. It can protect you from getting too attached to someone else with bad intentions. It can protect you from falling into the same old patterns. It can protect you from repeating history.
Sometimes, especially when you’re in a vulnerable space, keeping your walls up is actually a good idea. It allows you to stay cautious. It allows you to move at a pace that makes you feel comfortable. It allows you to see someone’s true colors before you hand them your whole heart.
Sometimes, you need to take precautions to protect yourself. Sometimes, there isn’t anything wrong with taking your sweet time getting to know someone, trust someone, love someone. Sometimes, your walls are there to save you.
Of course, you need to know when to tear those walls down. You need to know when to say enough is enough, these walls are no longer serving me, they are only smothering me. You need to know when you’ve been careful for long enough and it’s finally time to take a risk, to take a chance, to put yourself out there again.
Even though your walls can provide a safe space for you, you need to learn how to recognize when it’s time to step out of that space. Your walls shouldn’t be permanent. They shouldn’t be stuck. They shouldn’t lock out the people who have proven they can be trusted, who have proven they genuinely care about you, who have proven they aren’t going to hurt you like the people from your past.
Leaving your walls up for too long can do as much damage as not erecting any walls at all. It can push the right people away. It can leave you alone and isolated. It can prevent you from entering the greatest relationship of your life. It can prevent you from finding real love, selfless love, the kind of love you wish you had found earlier before you started feeling like you needed to protect your heart.
What you always need to remember is, sometimes, your walls are going to protect you from heartache. Other times, they are going to cause your heartache.
That’s why you need to be careful. Don’t leave them up for too long. Don’t hide behind them forever. Don’t swear off of relationships permanently, simply because you had one or two bad experiences in the past. Don’t push yourself away from someone who you know is going to make you happy, someone who has never done you wrong, someone who deserves a real chance. Don’t lock away your heart without any intention of letting it roam free again.