When you’re in a Jekyll-And-Hyde relationship, you never know what you’re going to get when you walk through the door. There’s multiple versions of the person you love. There’s the person who makes you laugh, who comforts you, who respects you, who makes you feel beautiful inside and out. And then there’s another person who hurts you, who criticizes you, you shames you, who makes you feel small and insecure.
Maybe your person switches personalities when they drink or smoke or do drugs. Or maybe they switch personalities based on their mood, whether or not they had a bad day at work, whether or not they got enough sleep, whether or not they liked the way you looked at them.
Either way, it’s hard for you to sort out your feelings for this person because they seem like two completely different people. You love one of them. You hate one of them. You’re excited to see one of them. You’re scared to see one of them. You want to spend the rest of your life with one of them. You never want to see one of them again.
When you’re in a Jekyll-And-Hyde relationship, you feel like you’re always on alert, always tiptoeing around, always watching what you say and checking their reactions. You have no idea whether your jokes are going to make them laugh or offend them. You have no idea whether accidentally spilling your coffee is going to end with them helping you clean up or throwing a fit about how clumsy you are and how you can’t do anything right.
When you’re in a Jekyll-And-Hyde relationship, you never know what’s about to happen. And that can be terrifying. That can turn you into a nervous wreck.
Unfortunately, when you’re in a Jekyll-And-Hyde relationship, it’s easy to make excuses to stay with them. Whenever they treat you poorly, you tell yourself they aren’t always like this. You tell yourself this isn’t the real them. You tell yourself they’re going to come to their senses soon.
Even if decide you’re going to leave them the next time they screw up, it’s hard to follow through on the idea once they switch back to their sweet, innocent, attractive side. It’s hard to walk away when they’re in a good mood, when they’re begging you not to leave, when they’re promising they will never hurt you again.
When you’re in a Jekyll-And-Hyde relationship, a part of you wants to stay and a part of you wants to leave. A part of you is screaming they’re really a good person, they’re just misunderstood, they’re just stressed, they’re just going through a hard time right now. And another part of you is screaming it doesn’t matter, they’ve still hurt you, they’re still responsible for their actions, this still isn’t okay.
When you’re in a Jekyll-And-Hyde relationship, you have to remember your person should treat you with respect, even at their lowest, even when they’re in a bad mood, even when they’re not themselves.
Love is supposed to feel safe. It’s supposed to feel comfortable. You don’t want to settle for someone unpredictable, someone you aren’t sure whether you’re going to be excited to see or terrified to see, someone who spends almost as much time hurting you as they do loving you.