When you can’t stop thinking about someone, you might take it as a sign you should text them. You should reach out to them. You should follow your heart and take a risk on love. After all, they’re on your mind for a reason. They’re making you lose your concentration for a reason. Because you like them that much. Because you cannot rest until you hear their voice again. Because a piece of your heart is lingering with them, even when they aren’t in the same room as you.
However, if this person has already proven to be toxic in the past, your obsession with thinking about them isn’t actually a sign you should reconnect with them. It isn’t actually a reason to text them, to meet up with them, to beg to have them back.
When you can’t stop thinking about someone toxic, your emotions get the best of you. A part of you knows that you should stay far, far away from them. But another part of you wonders whether it would really be that bad if you sent them a harmless text, if you admitted you missed them, if you asked them whether they’ve been missing you too.
When you’re feeling this way, you have to practice self-control. You have to resist temptation. You have to hold yourself back from reaching out to them on a whim because you don’t want to put yourself through another round of heartache. You don’t want to end up getting your heart squashed twice by the same person.
When you can’t stop thinking about someone toxic, you have to take a breath and remind yourself that your head knows what’s best for you, not your heart. Your heart is what got you in trouble in the first place. Your heart is what made you fall for someone who wasn’t right for you. Even though your heart might be hurting right now, running back to this person isn’t going to make it feel whole again. It might temporarily bring you some relief, but in the long run, it will only deepen the cracks.
When you can’t stop thinking about someone toxic, it doesn’t mean you let the wrong one get away. It doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision by leaving. Even though they treated you terribly, it’s natural for you to miss them. It’s natural for you to feel guilty about walking away or to feel bothered by the what ifs. But those negative feelings are going to go away. However, if you stayed with this person, your stress would only get worse.
When you can’t stop thinking about someone toxic, you shouldn’t take it as a sign you should talk to them again. You should accept it as a natural part of the healing process. You should remind yourself that missing someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to be with someone. It doesn’t mean you’re supposed to go back to square one when you’ve already been making so much progress in getting over them.