Apologizing isn’t going to change what happened between us. It isn’t going to erase the past. It isn’t going to heal my heartbreak. It isn’t going to magically make everything okay again. Things are never going to be the same between us, no matter how many times you say you’re sorry.
Apologizing isn’t going to make me trust you again. You’ve already broken my trust. Forever. You can make all the promises you want about how you’ll treat me better in the future, but there’s no telling if what you’re promising is true. I have no idea how you would treat me in the future. But I know how you treated me in the past. I know what you put me through. And I’m not going to risk going through that again.
Apologizing isn’t going to convince me to forgive you. I can’t tell whether you’re saying sorry because you genuinely regret what you’ve done or because you regret what happened in the aftermath. If there weren’t any repercussions, then would you still be this sorry? If we were still together, if I let your mistakes slide, then would you still be sorry? Or would you feel completely fine because nothing bad happened to you, it only happened to me?
Apologizing isn’t going to bring us back together. I do appreciate you taking responsibility for your actions. I am glad you’re self-aware enough to realize where you went wrong and mature enough to apologize for it. I really hope you’re telling the truth when you say you’ve changed. I hope you’ve grown from this. I hope you’ve bettered yourself. But I can wish you the best from afar. I can be thankful for your apology, I can even accept your apology, without giving you another chance.
Apologizing isn’t going to fix what happened. It isn’t going to be enough. And, honestly, acting like I’m handling your apology the wrong way makes me wonder why you bothered to apologize in the first place.
You should be apologizing to me because you feel bad about hurting me. Not because you think it’s going to get you something. Not because you’re treating this like some sort of bargain where you apologize and I let you back into my world without a second thought.
I don’t owe you another chance, just because you apologized. I don’t owe you a smile or a hug or a drink at the bar. I can choose not to accept your apology. Or I can choose to accept it without wanting to be friends again.
Stop acting like your apology makes you worthy of my love. Remind yourself that there would be nothing for you to apologize for if you treated me right all along. The fact that you even have to make an apology is a red flag. It means you aren’t able to rise to my standards. It means you aren’t the right one for me. It means we don’t belong together, no matter what we once thought.