1. You’re not going to protect yourself by closing yourself off to love. Even if you refuse to get into a relationship, your heart isn’t going to listen to reason. It cannot be controlled. No matter how much you will yourself to feel emotionless, there are still going to be times when you fall for someone special. There are still going to be times when you feel your stomach drop and your chest ache because someone you’re interested in dating has moved onto someone else. Refusing to get into a relationship doesn’t protect you from heartache. It guarantees heartache.

2. Pushing other people away isn’t going to solve your problems. You shouldn’t close yourself off. You shouldn’t raise your guard too high. If you make a promise to yourself to stay alone, no matter who enters your world, then you’re going to end up pushing good people away, people who could inspire your growth, people who could enhance your happiness. Not everyone is your enemy. Not everyone is going to hurt you like you’ve been hurt before. Some people deserve a chance. Some people deserve your heart.

3. History doesn’t have to repeat itself. You’ve been through heartache before, so it’s natural for you to worry about it happening again. But you’ve learned from your mistakes. You’ve grown from your experiences. You know better moving forward. You know what red flags look like and you know what you deserve. As long as you keep your standards high, there’s a good chance history isn’t going to repeat itself in the way you’ve been dreading.

4. Love is a beautiful thing. Don’t let your heartache confuse you. Don’t let it turn you into a skeptic who believes happiness is a lie. Despite the dark side of love you’ve seen, relationships are not all bad. Love is a wonderful thing when you’re with the right person. You just have to find that person.

5. Fear is the most dangerous thing in the world. Fear is going to keep you inside your comfort zone. Fear is going to keep you away from happiness. Yes, love is scary, love is a risk, but you can’t refuse to put yourself out there because of what could go wrong. You have to focus on what could go right. Or better yet, focus on the moment.

6. Every single person on this planet has struggled with relationships. You’re not the only one who has had their heart broken, who has felt broken beyond repair, who has questioned whether they’re ever going to settle down with someone they love. There are bound to be failed relationships along your way to your forever relationship. That’s natural. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re on the right track.

7. You deserve to love – and to be loved back. You’re not a lost cause. You’re not too screwed up to find someone who loves you for you. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to feel loved. So stop being so hard on yourself. Stop calling yourself a lone wolf. Stop locking up your heart and throwing away the key. Stay open to love. Stay open to risks. Stay open to possibilities.