1. You’re not stupid. You’re not gullible. You’re not blind. Maybe there were red flags you should have picked up on earlier — or maybe your person did a good job of disguising their true feelings. Either way, it doesn’t matter now. The relationship is over. You shouldn’t replay the past in your head over and over again to figure out where it went wrong or you’ll drive yourself insane. You simply have to accept what happened without blaming yourself for not realizing it was about to happen.
2. It’s normal for you to be confused, to have a million questions, to wonder what the hell happened. Unfortunately, you aren’t always going to get closure. Sometimes, heartaches happen out of the blue. Sometimes, your person isn’t going to stick around long enough to explain their thought process to you — or just won’t be brave enough to face you after what they put you through.
3. Your heartbreak doesn’t change who you are as a person. When you’re mourning the loss of a relationship, it’s natural to feel insecure. But you’re not any less beautiful or intelligent or strong than you were when you were in a relationship. Nothing has changed at your core. You’re still the same person, so you shouldn’t resort to questioning yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you.
4. Your heart is stronger than you think. You’ve been thrown off by this heartache because you didn’t see it coming. You didn’t have time to prepare for it. That’s why it might take you a long time to deal with the shock, to get over your ex, to heal from your heartache. But don’t get it twisted. You are going to heal. Your heart isn’t weak. It’s more durable than you realize. One day soon, you’ll feel better again.
5. Life is unpredictable. And love is unpredictable. Unfortunately, there’s a risk that comes with every relationship. Whenever you hand your heart over to someone, you’re giving them the potential to crack it in two. That’s not something that should scare you moving forward, but it’s something you should always keep in mind. It will remind you to keep your standards high. It will remind you to choose your loves wisely.
6. You shouldn’t let change make you uncomfortable. You might have imagined your future with this person, but it’s okay that your vision of the future is going to change now. Change is natural. You’re changing as a person every single day. You’re constantly growing. Maybe this person was right for you when you first started dating, but maybe they’re not right for you anymore. Maybe you need someone who fits this evolving, maturing version of you better.
7. This isn’t a sign you’re unlovable or undateable. Just because one person hurt you doesn’t mean the next person is going to hurt you. You have to stay positive. You have to keep believing that the right person for you is out there and that they’re never going to put you through the kind of heartbreak you’re experiencing right now.