5 Reminders For When You Keep Going Back To Someone Toxic

5 Reminders For When You Keep Going Back To Someone Toxic

1. They’re not going to change if you keep forgiving them, if you keep giving them second chances. They’re going to think they can keep getting away with the same old things because they aren’t experiencing any consequences. They still have your heart. They still have your soul. They still have you. Sure, they might have told you that they’re sorry and are never going to make the same mistake again, but haven’t you heard that same exact thing from their lips before? It’s not the first time they’ve apologized and it won’t be the last, because they’re going to keep treating you the same way they’ve been treating you all along.

2. You can’t stay with them based on the way they treated you on your first date or while you were in the courting stage or whenever you were actually getting along. You have to stop forcing yourself to stay because you know they’re a good person and because the horrible way they’ve been acting is so unlike them. You have to forget the sweet things they did for you in the beginning and focus on what’s been happening lately. If the last few months have been hell on you, if they’ve been committing unforgivable acts, then it doesn’t matter how adorable they were when you first met. They’re not suddenly going to revert back to that person you used to love. Even if they do, it will only be for a little while before they turn back into the monster in front of you.

3. The alternative isn’t as bad as you’ve been telling yourself. Maybe you’ve been staying because you’re worried about how miserable you’ll be alone. Maybe you’re worried you’re never going to find someone else who loves you. Maybe you’re convinced this is the best you’re going to get so you shouldn’t get greedy and leave. But, I promise, there is someone better out there for you. Being alone would even be better for you. Yes, it would be hard to live without your person at first, but it would be worth it in the end.

4. It’s not too late to break the cycle. Don’t lie to yourself about how you have too much history with this person. Or about how you tried to leave before and lost your courage, so there’s no point in trying again. You can do this. You can get out of this situation. You have to stop second guessing yourself and say goodbye. Don’t let your feelings (of love or fear or guilt) stop you.

5. Love doesn’t hurt like this. Love requires effort. Love require sacrifices. Love requires pain — but not this much pain. This isn’t right. What you’ve been going through isn’t okay. Can you handle it? Sure. But should you? That’s a different story. You shouldn’t make your life more difficult than it needs to be. You shouldn’t put your heart through hell. Despite what your person says, or what you tell yourself, you deserve respect. You deserve happiness. You deserve a safer, brighter love.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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