When you’re searching for a serious relationship but all the guys you’re interested in only want to sleep with you, it makes you wonder whether you’re doing something wrong. Why are you good enough to invite into the bedroom but not good enough to take out for a romantic dinner? Why are you good enough to kiss behind closed doors but not good enough to meet his parents over the holidays? Why are you good enough to spend night after night alongside but not enough to spend mornings alongside?
Even though there are guys who are ‘interested’ in you, it doesn’t raise your confidence. If anything, it makes you feel even more insecure. It makes you wonder whether the only thing you have to offer is your body. It makes you look at yourself in a dark, self-destructive way. It makes you feel worthless.
No matter how much effort you put into someone, no matter how many cute texts you send them or how many compliments you give, you know they’re going to get bored of you eventually. They’re going to move on and ask to stay ‘friends’. They’re going to decide you aren’t good enough to date and move onto the next person.
And if they start dating the next person, if they turn the next person into an official girlfriend, it makes you feel even worse. It makes it clear they were ready for a relationship. They just weren’t interested in starting one with you.
Even though you know how dangerous comparisons can be, it’s hard not to compare yourself to the girl who came after you, the girl who got everything that you wanted, the girl who convinced him to make a commitment.
When you’re searching for a serious relationship but all the guys you’re interested in only want to sleep with you, it makes you question a lot of things. Are you chasing after the wrong people, the type of people who aren’t built to stay loyal to you? Or are you giving off the wrong vibe, the vibe of someone who is fun and carefree and completely fine with casual hookups?
It sucks when you know someone is interested in you but you’re afraid to take a step forward with them because they might only be interested in one part of you. They might get what they want and leave. They might walk away smiling while you have to suffer through another broken heart.
It sucks when people assume you’re too strong and independent to get hurt by a casual hookup — or when they simply don’t care whether you get hurt at all.
When you’re searching for a serious relationship but all the guys you’re interested in only want to sleep with you, a part of you wants to give up on dating, to stop trying to find someone willing to make a serious commitment, to protect yourself by staying alone.
But you try your hardest to hold onto the hope that someone out there will treat you right, someone out there will want you for more than a single night.