1. He still texts her (and doesn’t let you see the messages). Whenever her name pops up on his screen, he moves his phone away. He doesn’t want you to know what they’ve been talking about — which means he’s probably been begging for her to come back or sexting with her or talking about how much he still misses her.

2. He talks about her all the time. It doesn’t matter if what he’s saying is negative. He might complain about how she never treated him the right way. He might compare the two of you and act like he’s happier now that she’s out of his life. But the fact of the matter is, if her name keeps coming out of his mouth over and over again, it means she’s stuck in his head. It means she’s all he’s been thinking about lately.

3. He keeps coming up with more and more reasons to avoid making your relationship official. Maybe he really isn’t ready for a relationship right now because his heart is broken and he’s trying to heal. Or maybe he doesn’t want to make you his official girlfriend in case his ex wants to get back together again. Maybe he’s trying to stay available for her.

4. He’s highly active on her social media. You should be careful if your person is continuing snapchat streaks with their ex, or liking every single post their ex writes on Facebook, or commenting beneath every single Instagram picture of them at the beach. There’s a difference between staying friends with an ex and straight up flirting with your ex.

5. He hasn’t deleted her photos. He hasn’t purged his phone or his social media accounts of any of her pictures yet. It’s the same with little gifts she’s given him. He still wears the jewelry she bought him. He still keeps reminders of her around his room. He refuses to get rid of the memories.

6. He’s still close with her family members and friends. And when he’s hanging out with them, all he does is ask about her. He wants to know how she’s doing at work and in school. He wants to know whether she’s dating someone else and whether it’s getting serious. He wants to know every little detail about her life.

7. He gets overly excited when he sees her. When you happen to run into her while you’re out on a date, his excitement is obvious. And if you know you’re planning on visiting the same party or event as her ahead of time, he puts a little extra effort into his appearance. He makes sure to look his best.

8. He calls you by the wrong name. Enough said.

9. He prioritizes her over you. If he cancels plans with you in order to see her, it’s a red flag. If he answers her texts before your texts, it’s a red flag. If he is still treating her as a priority even though she’s supposed to be a part of his past, then it’s a red flag. You don’t want to hand your heart to someone who has already given theirs away. You don’t want to end up in a one-sided relationship