When you’re blindsided by a breakup, you’re not sure how to react. You’re dealing with a strong mix of wildly different emotions. You’re upset because you thought this relationship was going to last for a while. You’re angry because you feel like your person has been misleading you for a while. You’re confused because you never saw this coming in the first place.
When you’re blindsided by a breakup, it’s hard not to feel embarrassed. After all, you were recently gushing to your friends about how much you liked this person. You recently told your parents everything was going smoothly. You didn’t give your loved ones any indication a breakup could be in the near future because you had no idea a breakup was in the near future. You had no idea you were about to have your heart smashed to bits.
When you’re blindsided by a breakup, there’s a period of time when you blame yourself for being caught so off-guard. You feel like you must have been living in a fantasy world because you thought everything was good. You didn’t see any problems. You didn’t see any warning signs. You must have been gullible for believing your person when they claimed everything was fine a few weeks earlier. You must have been lying to yourself.
When you’re blindsided by a breakup, sometimes you spend more time mad at yourself than mad at the other person. You feel stupid for investing so much time and energy into someone who clearly didn’t feel the same way. You feel like an idiot for the way you behaved, for being so blinded by your feelings that you didn’t see this coming.
When you’re blindsided by a breakup, you retrace all of your steps. You think back to the last conversations you had with your person, the last kisses you shared with your person, the last arguments you had with your person. You try to pinpoint the moment when it went south, the moment when you should have realized something horrible was about to happen. You try to figure out whether you were foolish for missing the signs or whether your person never dropped any hints at all.
When you’re blindsided by a breakup, you have a million questions. You want to know whether your person decide to dump you out of the blue, because that’s the way it feels for you — or whether they had been thinking of this for a long time without letting you in on their feelings. You want to know whether your person was genuinely happy with you at first or whether they were playing pretend since the beginning. You want to know exactly how long you were oblivious, exactly how long you were the only one enjoying the relationship.
When you’re blindsided by a breakup, it’s hard to move on because you weren’t able to prepare yourself ahead of time. You didn’t see this coming. You didn’t know your person was on a different page than you. You didn’t know you were about to have your heart brutally broken.