Some people are never going to learn — and it’s not your fault. It wasn’t your job to fix them, so stop feeling like you’ve failed. Stop telling yourself they would have changed if they loved you enough, if they wanted your relationship to work badly enough, because it’s not the truth. Some people are never going to change. They’re going to remain toxic forever. Their reluctance to set things right has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Some people are never going to learn so giving them a second chance would be pointless. They aren’t going to grow from the mistakes they’ve made. They aren’t going to take a step back and realize the way they’ve been treating you has been uncalled for and unfair. They’re going to celebrate the fact they were able to get away with their bad behavior. They might swear things are going to be different moving forward, but it won’t be long until they go back on their word. It won’t be long until they hurt you again, under the assumption you’ll forgive them again and again and again.
Some people are never going to learn so there’s no reason to waste your energy on them. There’s no reason to sit up at night, trying to figure out why they haven’t changed their ways even after you’ve had an honest conversation with them about how badly they’ve hurt you. These people are selfish. There’s no reasoning with them. There’s no talking sense into them. Sometimes, they can do a good job of pretending you matter to them, but the truth is, they don’t care about anyone other than themselves.
Some people are never going to learn so you shouldn’t stick around to try to change them. They’re set in their ways. Even though they might seem miserable, they’re too comfortable the way things are to make a change. As much as you want to help, you can’t do anything for them. They’re in control of their own actions. They get to decide whether they’re going to start acting differently or whether they’re going to continue living the same miserable life they’ve been living. It isn’t up to you, so stop trying to force them to become better versions of themselves. Unless they want it to happen, it isn’t going to happen.
Some people are never going to learn so you should move on from them. You should stop pouring your effort into them. You should search for someone who actually takes responsibility for their actions, who actually grows every time they make a mistake. Don’t let yourself settle for someone who repeats the same bad behavior on a loop. Find someone who would never hurt you the same way twice, someone who rights their wrongs, someone who respects you enough to treat you right.
Some people are never going to learn. They’re never going to mature. They’re never going to rise to your expectations and deliver what you deserve.