I Keep Thinking About Texting You, But It’s Never Going To Happen

I Keep Thinking About Texting You, But It’s Never Going To Happen

I’m not going to text you because you made your priorities perfectly clear. You made it obvious your feelings weren’t as intense as mine. As much as I want to change your mind about me, to get you interested in me again, I’m not going to beg for your attention. I’m not going to scream and cry until you acknowledge my existence. If you can live without me, then I can live without you. There’s no reason for me to chase after someone who has already run so far away.

I’m not going to text you because nothing I say would make a difference in the long run. We can’t turn back time. We can’t erase all of the horrible things that have happened between us. Sure, we might have a nice conversation, but we wouldn’t be able to go any further than that. We wouldn’t be able to resurrect our relationship. It would be a bad idea. It would cause pain for ever party involved. At the end of the day, we’re better off apart. We’re better off keeping our distance.

I’m not going to text you because I’ve been learning how to control my impulses, how to listen to my head over my heart, how to take a step back and ask myself whether I’m doing the right thing or the most tempting thing. I’m smart enough to realize reaching out to you would only bring me more heartache in the end, which is why I’m going to resist the urge. I’m going to let you slowly fade in to the background of my life, no matter how long it takes.

I’m not going to text you because it’s something I would regret in the morning. I might even regret it seconds after I hit send. There are a million things I still have to say to you, but I have a feeling you’re not going to respond the way I’m hoping. You’re not going to give me any form of closure. You’re only going to reopen wounds that are on their way toward closing. You’re only going to make getting over you more difficult.

I’m not going to text you because there are other people in my world who are showing me how I should be treated. They’re making it easier to forget about you. They’re making it easier to see how unbalanced our relationship really was and how I should never aspire to be in a situation like that again.

I’m not going to text you, because quite honestly, you don’t deserve to hear from me again. You lost your chance to date me. You even lost your chance to be friends with me. I gave you a dozen chances and you squandered each and every one. You’re the reason why we don’t keep in touch anymore. If you change your mind and decide to text me one day, I might answer you back, but in the meantime I’m not going to be the one reaching out to you. I’m not going to put myself through that kind of pain again. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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