One of the worst feelings in the world is emptiness, numbness, hopelessness.
You don’t want to sit there and do nothing but it’s hard for you to find the energy to rise from bed without hitting snooze at least three times in a row. You have trouble finding the energy to kickstart your day because you aren’t sure what you’re supposed to do. You aren’t sure what’s going to make you happy. You aren’t sure which steps you’re supposed to take in order to reach a place of fulfillment.
If you had any clue about which direction to head toward, then maybe you would be able to conjure up some motivation, but you are completely and utterly lost. You don’t know what you want outside of broad terms like happiness and success and friendship and meaning.
You get caught in a dangerous cycle because you don’t have the energy to get work done so you spend the majority of your day doing nothing, but then you feel guilty about doing nothing. Instead of being productive, you end up stewing in your own self-pity. You end up feeling sorry for yourself and wishing you could make a change instead of taking the steps to make that change.
Of course, change is hard. When you’re feeling empty, it’s hard to find the energy to give a shit about yourself. You know you should be laying the groundwork to create a better future for yourself but you keep thinking about the past. You keep dwelling on everything that has gone wrong and the only time you think about the future is to think of what else could go wrong down the line.
When you’re feeling empty, it’s tempting to give up on yourself — but you cannot allow your worst fears to win. You cannot assume you’re going to fail. You cannot assume there is no point in trying.
You have to believe in yourself. At the very least, you have to respect yourself.
Even though it’s hard to get out of bed when you’re feeling empty, let alone cross items off your to-do list, you don’t want to spend too much time in your bedroom, wasting away the hours until it’s time to fall back asleep again. You don’t want to allow your routine to repeat itself day after day in the worst possible way. You don’t want to let your regrets keep piling up until they’re the only thing on your mind. You don’t want to give up on yourself, even accidentally.
When you’re feeling empty inside, it’s easy to assume you’re going to feel that way forever, but that doesn’t have to be the case. If you fight through the way you’re feeling right now, if you take the necessary steps to care for your mental health and to move forward toward a brighter future, then the empty feeling might go away sooner than you expect. You might end up happier than you ever imagined yourself. You might feel whole again.