When you’re scared of commitment, you spend a lot of time wondering whether you’re moving at a decent pace. You aren’t going to rush into a relationship before you’re ready, but you don’t want to take things too slow and end up pushing a good person away either. You know it’s unreasonable to expect them to wait forever for you. You know you’re going to have to get your shit together eventually and commit to them, otherwise they have every right to leave.
When you’re scared of commitment, there are a lot of times when you have to stop and ask yourself whether you’re treating your person unfairly. You might not be ready to put a label on your relationship, but is it really fair to continue calling yourself single when you’ve been spending so much time with them? You might not be ready to meet their parents, but is it really fair to turn down a dinner invitation after you’ve been dating for so long?
When you’re scared of commitment, what your gut tells you to do isn’t always the right thing to do. Sometimes, you have to choose the scariest, riskiest option over the easiest, most tempting option. Sometimes, you have to take a step back and ask yourself whether you’re pushing this person away out of fear or whether it’s the right move to make.
Unfortunately, when you’re scared of commitment, it doesn’t matter whether you’ve found the right match — and that might confuse the hell out of you. All of this time, you might have assumed a switch would flick as soon as you found your forever person. You might have assumed commitment would stop feeling like such a big, scary word as soon as you met someone who made you feel at home. But that’s not the case. You’re still going to be the same person, even after you cross paths with the love of your life.
In some ways, committing is scarier than ever when you find the right person because you really want the relationship to work out. You really don’t want to lose them. You really don’t want this to end in heartbreak for either one of you.
When you’re scared of commitment, you’re worried about more than getting your heart broken. You’re also worried about whether you’re going to be the one breaking a heart. You’re worried about whether you’re going to end up getting scared and running away when you should have planted roots to stay. You’re worried your anxiety or paranoia or selfishness is going to cause you to mess up the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
When you’re scared of commitment, it might take you a while to become comfortable with the idea of forever — but that’s okay. As long as you’re with the right person, they’ll be patient with you. They’ll wait for you. Just don’t expect them to wait forever. If they’re going to play their part, then you need to play yours too.