Don’t get back together with an ex if you’re holding a grudge. Your relationship is never going to last if you keep bringing up old arguments you had the first time you were dating. You can sit down and discuss your old problems once, maybe even twice, in order to get your feelings out in the open — but harping on the mistakes they made years ago (that you have supposedly forgiven them for) isn’t going to do you any good. It’s only going to push you further and further apart.
If what they’ve done to you is unforgivable, if you aren’t able to get over the way they hurt you in the past, then you never should have gotten back together with them in the first place. You should have found someone new instead of reopening old wounds. You should have left your past in the past and moved onto a brighter future.
You really shouldn’t get back together with an ex if you’re going to hold their mistakes over their head, if you’re expecting them to do 99 percent of the work in your relationship in order to make up for what happened the last time you were dating. If you aren’t able to trust each other, to forgive each other, to start anew with each other, then resentments are going to build. Your history is going to unravel your love story.
Make sure you think through what you’re doing before deciding to get back together with an ex. Just because you love each other doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be together. Just because you miss each other doesn’t mean you’re supposed to start texting again. Sometimes, people who hurt each other are better off apart than trying to rebuild. Sometimes, you’re not meant to give your failed relationship a second chance.
The most important thing is to know what you can handle. Can you handle handing your heart to this person again after they broke it the last time? Are you going to be able to trust what they’re saying to you is the truth, even though they had a history of lying to you in the past? Are you going to be able to give this person what they need — and do you genuinely believe they’ll be able to give you what you need?
When you’re dealing with an ex, you have to be careful because you don’t want them to break your heart a second time. You don’t want to walk right back into a toxic situation you were smart enough to leave years ago. You don’t want to waste time with the wrong person when you could be out searching for the right person.
Make sure to listen to your head as much as your heart. Don’t get back together with an ex unless you can forget the past. If you’re still upset about the mistakes they made the first time you were dating, if you can’t trust them anymore after what they put you through, then your relationship isn’t going to work any better the second time around. You’re better off staying apart. You’re better off looking elsewhere for love.