Breaking down your walls takes time. Even though meeting your forever person might change your attitude about love, it isn’t going to magically turn you from a skeptic to a romantic overnight. It isn’t going to transform you into a completely new person. You’ll still have baggage. You’ll still be you.
You can’t get angry at yourself for how hard it is for you to open up to someone special. It’s natural to guard your heart.
You might not even know when you meet your forever person. Even if you can instantly tell this person is different, this person is special, it doesn’t mean you’re going to skip right to marriage. The puppy love stage comes first. And before that comes the awkward, getting-to-know-you stage.
It takes time to build a loving, trusting relationship. You might not feel comfortable opening up to your person about your past early on in the relationship. You might keep some cards close to your chest. And that’s perfectly fine. You don’t have to reveal everything right away. You don’t have to commit after the first date. You can take your time. You can set your own pace.
Some people might get frustrated with you over your high walls — but the right person will be patient with you. They will understand if you need some time before committing. They will understand if you want to get to know them better before spilling your secrets. They will understand if you want to see whether they’re truly trustworthy before giving them full access to your heart.
Breaking down your walls takes time. The reason you have those walls in the first place is to prevent you from getting hurt like you’ve been hurt in the past.
It makes sense for you to stay guarded until you spend a while with this new person, until you learn their strengths and bad habits, until you know exactly who you are dealing with. It makes sense for you to stay cautious with your history.
As long as you aren’t treating your person like a punching bag, as long as you aren’t putting them through pain, then there’s nothing wrong with having up walls for a while. The right person is going to put in the effort to help you feel comfortable with them. They are going to show you they’re someone you can count on.
You can’t be too hard on yourself when entering a new relationship, because breaking down your walls takes time. It’s an ongoing process. You’re not going to tear down every wall overnight. They’re going to come down bit by bit as you get to know each other, as you fall in love with each other.
You’re slowly going to start trusting this person. You’re slowly going to start opening up to them about things you’ve never told another living soul before. One day, without seeing it coming, you’re going to realize every wall has been torn down. You’re going to realize you’ve let your person completely inside your heart.