1. You gave them the wrong idea. If you used sarcasm or distance as a defense mechanism to protect yourself, you might have given this person the wrong idea. You might have made the impression you wanted nothing to do with them. You might have scared them away from asking you out.

2. You weren’t looking for the same things. There’s a big difference between harmlessly flirting with someone and making a serious commitment to someone. You don’t need to have much in common to flirt. You don’t need to want the same things to flirt. But in order to make a serious relationship work, you need to be in agreement about where you want to live and whether you want to get married and how many kids you want to have. If you two weren’t on the same page about those things, a relationship wouldn’t have gone well.

3. They weren’t interested in you enough to date you. They might not have been flirting with you for the same reasons you were flirting with them. They might have wanted to have some fun. They might have wanted to hook up with you. They might have wanted an ego boost. They might have wanted a friend.

4. You waited and waited without doing much of anything. Maybe you took too many baby steps. Maybe you took too long to reach the next level of your relationship. Maybe you both slowly grew apart from each other because you didn’t put enough effort into each other, you didn’t move from friends to something more.

5. You didn’t communicate with each other well enough. You might have had strong feelings for each other at the same time — but if neither of you vocalized those feelings, it could have caused you to question each other’s intentions. You might have thought your hints were obvious, but they might have thought the exact same thing. Your reluctance to wear your hearts on your sleeve could have backfired on you. If you would have been more open and honest, you might have been in a relationship right now.

6. The timing sucked. Maybe you would have made a good couple, but they just got out of another serious relationship and needed time to heal. Maybe they were incredibly focused on a new job opportunity and couldn’t risk getting distracted by you and losing their dream. Maybe you lived too far from each other to plan visits. Maybe you had the potential to love each other right but the timing got in the way.

7. They found someone else. They might have liked you enough to date you but not enough to wait around for you forever. If they weren’t sure whether they would ever get to kiss you but someone else came along who was forward with them, they might have went with the guarantee over the maybe.

8. You psyched yourself out. If you assumed this other person was out of your league, then you probably didn’t spend too much time chasing after them. You probably admitted defeat pretty early on. You probably didn’t give yourself a fighting chance to get together with them.