When You're In A Toxic Relationship, You Forget What It Feels Like To Be Loved Right

When You’re In A Toxic Relationship, You Forget What It Feels Like To Be Loved Right

When you spend a long time in a toxic relationship, you forget what it feels like to be heard. Your feelings are always pushed to the side in order to make room for your partner’s feelings. When you’re upset, you have two choices. You can either speak your mind and spark a massive argument — or you can swallow your feelings in order to keep the peace. After a while, you get used to suffering in silence. You forget your emotions are valid. You stop feeling like anything you have to say matters.

When you spend a long time in a toxic relationship, you forget what it feels like to consider yourself a priority. You spend all of your time worrying about your person, guessing what mood your person will be in when they come home, wondering what you can do in order to stop your person from spiraling again. They take over your entire life. You spend every single day trying to make them happy and never stop to ask yourself what would make you happy.

When you spend a long time in a toxic relationship, you forget what it feels like to be spoiled. When you’re surprised with flowers or chocolates or movie tickets, it’s either because of a holiday, because your person is making an apology, or because you nagged your person for weeks about doing something nice for you. The majority of the time, you’re the only one who puts effort into the relationship.

When you spend a long time in a toxic relationship, you forget what it feels like to have fun. You accept the honeymoon phase is over. You convince yourself it’s normal for couples to stop going on dates after they’ve been together for a while. You try not to let it bother you that you never go dancing anymore or play board games together or stay up until two in the morning chatting about your lives. If you’re being completely honest, you never have any fun together anymore — and if you do, it only lasts a short while until things go back to being tense.

When you spend a long time in a toxic relationship, you forget what it feels like to be respected. Your partner never takes your feelings into consideration. They act selfishly, impulsively. They stay out as late as they want without texting you a time they’ll be back home. They flirt with strangers in front of you and behind your back without feeling guilty about it. They don’t watch what they’re saying because they know, no matter how badly they screw up, you’re going to forgive them at the end of each day.

When you spend a long time in a toxic relationship, you forget what it feels like to enjoy the moment. You’re always thinking about how good things were in the past or daydreaming about how things might be better again in the future. You’re never happy unless you’re living in your memories.

When you spend a long time in a toxic relationship, you forget what it feels like to be loved right. You forget what it feels like to be treated the way you deserve. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

Keep up with Holly on Instagram, Twitter and Amazon