I can’t promise to make you my first priority because that position is saved for myself.
I’m not going to push my own needs to the side in order to make room for you. I’m not going to sacrifice my dreams in the name of love. I’m not going to allow a relationship to come in between me and my standards.
When you date me, you’re going to be my second priority. I’m going to care about you almost as much as I care about myself. That means you’re going to be treated with constant care, understanding, and respect. You’re going to be spoiled from morning until night.
However, if a time comes when you expect me to chose between you and my career, you and my passions, you and my mental health — then you’re going to be disappointed. I’m never going to chose you over my own well-being.
When you date me, you’re going to be my second priority, because making you my first priority would be dangerous. I need to take care of myself in order to take better care of you. I need to make sure I’m in a healthy place, both physically and mentally, in order to rise to your expectations and be the kind of partner you deserve.
If I stopped taking care of myself, then it would only be a matter of time until I burned out. It would only be a matter of time until I started self-destructing and took the relationship down along with me.
Putting myself first is good for the both of us. It will help make our relationship stronger.
You have to understand, when I say you’re going to be my second priority, I don’t mean you’re going to be neglected, ignored, pushed to the background. I don’t mean I’m going to make selfish decisions that screw you over. I don’t mean I’m going to hurt you because the only person in the world I care about is myself.
When I say you’re going to be my second priority, I only mean you’re going to have to accept the fact that you aren’t the center of my universe. There are going to be times when I cancel date nights because I desperately need to rest or read or catch up on work. There are going to be times when I say no to you because my stress is already too high to agree to more favors. There are going to be times when I do what is best for myself, even if that means spending a little less time with you.
I don’t consider it selfish to make myself my number one priority. I have to put myself first in order to sustain a healthy headspace. I have to pour effort into my own well-being in order to be the best possible version of myself. I have to care about my own happiness in order to bring you happiness.
I’m sorry, but when you date me, you’re never going to be my first priority, because that would mean putting myself second.