Some people aren’t going to treat you the way you deserve until you stand up for yourself, speak your mind, and demand better treatment.
Is that fair? No. In a perfect world, your person would put as much effort into the relationship as you do, your friends would return all of your favors, and your boss would offer you a raise without you having to ask them.
Unfortunately, in the real world, you can’t always choose the polite, non-confrontational option. You can’t sit around, patiently waiting for someone to give you what you deserve. You have to walk up to them and have a conversation.
If you’ve been working until your breaking point and feel like you deserve a raise, you’re allowed to ask for a raise. You can’t expect your boss to offer it to you on a silver platter, even if you feel like that would be the right thing for them to do. After all, you cannot control their actions. You can only control your own.
It’s the same when it comes to your friendships and romantic relationships. If you’ve been doing favors for someone left and right, if you’ve been making constant sacrifices for them, you’re allowed to ask them for a favor in return. You can’t expect them to read your mind, to guess when you need them, and reach out to help on their own. Some people aren’t as perceptive as you. Some people aren’t as selfless.
Sometimes, even though it feels like you shouldn’t have to ask, you need to ask for what you deserve. The worst thing that can happen is you’re told no.
You shouldn’t think of that no as the end of the world. In truth, it’s a good thing. It lets you know where you stand. When you’re given a no, you have two options. You can either accept the answer or you can decide it’s unfair and you’re unwilling to accept it. That doesn’t mean you moan. It doesn’t mean you start an argument. It means you change your situation.
If your person refuses to meet you halfway in your relationship, leave the relationship. If your friend refuses to help you out when you need them the most, end the friendship. If your boss refuses to give you a raise, find a new boss.
Sometimes, you have to ask for what you deserve in order to discover what other people believe you deserve. You won’t know how much (or how little) your person appreciates all the chores you’ve been doing or how much (or how little) your boss appreciates the overtime you’ve been working unless you have a conversation with them.
Sometimes, when you ask, your courage will pay off and you’ll get exactly what you want. Other times, you’ll be disappointed. But either way, it’s better to get an idea of where the other person stands. It’s better to learn how they feel about you and everything you’ve done for them than to sit around waiting for them to start treating you differently.