Modern dating doesn’t have to be confusing if you’re honest about what you want out of the relationship. If you don’t play any games. If you explain exactly what you’re looking to find. If you stop pretending you’re okay with casual dates and meaningless hookups, and admit you’re searching for the real deal.
Modern dating doesn’t have to be confusing if you express your vulnerabilities early on. If you say the real thing instead of the right thing. If you stop acting embarrassed about your flaws. If you allow the other person to see the unfiltered you on the first date instead of trying to be the picture perfect person you think they want to meet.
Modern dating doesn’t have to be confusing if you’re blunt about your likes and dislikes. If you’re transparent about your wants and needs. If you’re unapologetic about your expectations and standards.
Modern dating doesn’t have to be confusing if you embrace your feelings. If you send the first text instead of waiting for the other person to initiate. If you make the first move instead of waiting until the timing is right. If you proclaim how you feel instead of hoping the other person picks up your dropped hints.
The only reason modern dating feels so confusing is because it’s turned into a guessing game. No one wears their heart on their sleeve. No one admits how they feel too early in the relationship. No one even places labels on relationships.
Everyone is afraid of feeling too much and pushing the other person away with their intensity — and they end up pushing the other person away with their indifference instead.
Even though you can’t control whether others are going to be upfront with you, you can be upfront with them. You can express yourself instead of holding back. You can speak from your heart and see how they react. You will quickly learn whether they are worthy of your time or whether they aren’t worth a second more.
Modern dating has grown into a tangled mess of confusion — but it doesn’t have to be like that. You don’t have to settle for almosts. You don’t have to pretend you’re okay with casual hookups when you’d rather be in a serious relationship. You don’t have to type and retype messages until you find the perfect thing to say. You can be yourself. You can be authentic.
Some people are going to be intimidated by your straightforward, no-bullshit attitude, but the right person is going to be drawn to you. They are going to be refreshed by you.
Do yourself a favor and stop wearing a mask, walking around with your heart guarded, lying to yourself and everyone else about how you really feel. Dare to be different.
Modern dating doesn’t have to be confusing if you give yourself permission to go against the crowd. If you stop forcing yourself to follow modern dating trends and set your own rules. If you promise yourself you will never play pretend again.