You might be tempted to text your ex and tell them you miss them — or to call them out on their bullshit once and for all. Either way, before you press send, you should think through the pros and cons.
Pro: You might have a long, heartfelt conversation that ends with getting closure. You might have reached a place in your lives where you are able to have a mature, serious conversation about what went wrong in your relationship. You might be able to ask them questions that have been keeping you up at night. You might be able to learn truths that were holding you back from moving on. You might be able to give them a final goodbye that helps your healing process along.
Con: You might end up getting into a heated argument. If emotions are still raw, then you might not be able to have a levelheaded conversation with your ex. They might make excuses about why they treated you poorly. They might try to shift the blame onto you. They might lie through their teeth in order to make themselves look like the victim. Or they might not answer your messages at all and you’ll end up feeling even more pissed off at them.
Pro: You might realize you deserve better than them. Sometimes, it’s hard to see clearly when you’re in the middle of a relationship. You’re blinded to your person’s faults because you love them so much. However, reconnecting with your ex might give you a fresh look at them. It might make you realize they were never worthy of you in the first place. It might make you realize you truly are better off without them.
Con: You might make yourself miss them even more. Instead of getting closure from your conversation, you might reopen old wounds. You might move two steps backward in your healing process. You might remember all of the things you loved about this person and start missing them more than ever. Talking to them might prolong your heartache. It might make it even more difficult for you to stay away from them in the long-run.
Pro: You might end up getting back together — and making it work a second time. If enough time has passed and your person has learned from their mistakes, then they might be worthy of another shot. They might surprise you by how much they have grown while you have been apart. They might have realigned their priorities and shifted into someone you could spend forever alongside.
Con: You might end up getting back together — and getting your heart broken a second time. If your person hasn’t changed, if they are still the same exact person who broke your heart in the first place, then chances are they haven’t changed. History is probably going to repeat itself. You are probably going to deal with the same set of relationship issues you had the first time around. You are probably going to regret texting them and letting them back into your world.