1. Are you texting him because someone new hurt you? When your heart gets bruised by someone new, you might feel tempted to reach out to an ex who made you feel wanted, an ex who will agree to hop back into bed with you the moment you call. But you have to ask yourself whether you’re actually interested in rekindling things with your ex or whether you’re simply looking for validation, for proof you haven’t lost your touch.
2. Are you texting him because you want answers? It’s natural to have a million questions after a relationship ends, but you have to ask yourself whether interrogating him is going to help you heal or reopen your old wounds. Do you actually think he’s going to give you the truth? Or do you think he’ll ignore your messages, or start an argument with you, or lie through his teeth to make himself look better? Getting closure would be nice, but it isn’t always something that happens and you have to accept that.
3. Are you texting him because you’re glorifying the past? It’s dangerous to replay your best memories of him on a loop because you’re going to lose track of the awful memories. There’s a good reason you aren’t together. He hurt you. He isn’t the right one for you. Don’t let yourself forget that.
4. Are you texting him because you’re lonely? Loneliness can cause us to do crazy things — and it can strike at any time. When you’re alone in bed and want someone to cuddle. When you see a cute romcom and get into a mushy mood. When a friend gets engaged and you realize how long you’ve been single. Remember: Your loneliness is going to pass — but the horror of texting an ex is going to linger for a long time.
5. Are you texting him because you’re wasted? Before you press send, count up how many drinks you had tonight. If you’re feeling even the slightest buzz, you probably shouldn’t message him. Leave your text as a draft, reread it in the morning, and decide if you still want to say those same words. Chances are, the sunlight is going to knock some sense into you.
6. Are you texting him because you’re in the mood? Don’t let your libido get you into trouble. You don’t need to sext anyone. You don’t need to invite anyone back to your bedroom. If you know it’s a bad idea to hook up with your ex again, you can climb into bed and take care of yourself. You’ll end up with a lot less regrets.
7. Are you texting him because you’re pissed? It doesn’t matter how long ago your heartbreak happened. It’s still going to sting from time to time. As much as you want to hurt your ex, as much as you want to curse him out over the way he treated you, your best revenge is to move on. Leave him in your past. Delete his number so you’re never tempted to text him again.